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2002. After the last ofmounting screws has been removed from an access cover, it will be discovered that the wrong access cover has been removed.

2003. After the paunch comes the dance.

2004. After the siesta, taking a bath causes great harm.

2005. After the verb 'to love', the verb 'to help' is the most beautiful verb in the world. -- Bertha von Suttner

2006. After the year 2015, there will be no airplane crashes. There will be no takeoffs either, because electronics will occupy 100 percent of every airplane's weight.

2007. After they made him, they broke the jelly meld.

2008. After three days without reading, talk becomes flavorless. Chinese proverb

2009. After victory, tighten your helmet chord. Japanese Proverb

2010. After Wizard of Oz I was typecast as a lion and there just aren't that many roles for lions in Hollywood.

2011. After work, he always stops at a bar for an hour and a quart.

2012. Afternoon very favorable for romance. Try a single person for a change.

2013. Afternoon: That part of the day we spend worrying about how we wasted the morning.

2014. Again, with his little brood 'round him, ---He sits by the fair mother-wife, ---He knows that the angels have crowned him ---With the truest, best riches of life. ---(ELLA WHEELER WILCOX).

2015. Against boredom, even the gods struggle in vain" - Nietzsche

2016. Against diseases here the strongest fence, Is the defensive virtue, abstinence.

2017. Against stupidity the very gods Themselves contend in vain. --from The Maid of Orleans

2018. Against the assault of laughter, nothing can stand.--Mark Twain

2019. Against the head which innocence secures, Insidious malice aims her dart in vain; Turned backwards by the powerful breath of heaven.

2020. Against three in a row, play right in the center.

2021. Agate, for the law is costly.

2022. Age ... is a matter of feeling, not of years. -- George William Curtis

2023. Age and wedlock tames man and beast.

2024. Age carries all things away, even the mind.

2025. Age does not depend upon years, but upon temperament and health. Some men are born old, and some never grow so. -- Tryon Edwards

2026. Age does not make us childish, as some say; it only finds us true children still. -- Goethe

2027. Age does not necessarily bring wisdom. Often, it merely changes simple stupidity into arrogant conceit. It's only advantage, as I see it, is that it spans CHANGE. A young person sees the world as a still picture. immutable. An old person has had his nose rubbed in changes and more changes, and still more changes until he knows it is a moving picture forever changing. He may not like it; he probably doesn't. But he knows it's so, and knowing it is the first step in coping with it.

2028. Age does not protect you from love. But love, to some extent, protects you from age. -- Jeanne Moreau

2029. Age is a high price to pay for maturity.

2030. Age is a sliding thing.

2031. Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

2032. Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.

2033. Age is not all decay; it is the ripening, the swelling, of the fresh life within, that withers and bursts the husk.

2034. Age is something that doesn't matter, unless you are a cheese. Billie Burke

2035. Age isn't important unless you're a cheese.

2036. Age makes us not childish, as some say; it finds us still true children.

2037. Age only matters when one is ageing. Now that I have arrived at a great age, I might just as well be twenty. -- Pablo Picasso

2038. Age, like distance lends a double charm.

2039. Age--that period of life in which we compound for the vices that we still cherish by reviling those that we no longer have the enterprise to commit. -- Ambrose Bierce

2040. Aggression unopposed becomes a contagious disease. 1980--Jimmy Carter, 39th US President

2041. Aggression which is flagitious when committed by one, is not sanctioned when committed by a host. -- Herbert Spencer

2042. Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long time.

2043. Agitation is that part of our intellectual life where vitality results; there ideas are born, breed and bring forth. -- George E. Woodberry

2044. Agitation is the atmosphere of the brains. --Wendell Phillips

2045. Agitation is the marshalling of the conscience of a nation to mold its laws. -- Robert Peel

2046. Agnosticism is the philosophical, ethical and religious dry-rot of the modern world. -- F. E. Abbot

2047. Agnosticism simply means that a man shall not say he knows or believes that for which he has no grounds for professing to believe. -- Thomas Huxley

2048. Agues come on horseback, but go away on foot.

2049. Ah Mozart! He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.

2050. Ah! Don't say that you agree with me. When People agree with me I always feel that I must be wrong. --Oscar Wilde

2051. Ah! I have slipped the surly bonds of earth And danced the skies on laughter-silvered wings; Sunward I've climbed, and joined the tumbling mirth Of sun-split clouds-and done a hundred things You have not dreamed of-wheeled and soared and swung High in the sunlit silence. Hov'ring there I've chased the shouting wind along, and flung My eager craft through footless halls of air.

2052. Ah! what would the world be to us If the children were no more? We should dread the desert behind us Worse than the dark before.--Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

2053. Ah! when will this long weary day have end, And lend me leave to come unto my love?

2054. Ah! would that we could at once paint with the eyes!

2055. Ah, but a man's reach should exceed his grasp, or what's a heaven for? Robert Browning

2056. Ah, fill the Cup: - what boots it to repeat How Time is slipping underneath our Feet: Unborn To-morrow, and dead Yesterday, Why fret about them if To-day be sweet!

2057. Ah, how skillful grows the hand That obeyeth Love's command! It is the heart and not the brain That to the highest doth attain, And he who followeth Love's behest Far excelleth all the rest.

2058. Ah, pray no mistake, We are not shy; We're very wide awake The Moon and I.~~Sir William Schwenck Gilbert

2059. Ah, the souls of those that die Are but sunbeams lifted higher.

2060. Ah, well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means.--Oscar Wilde - last words

2061. Ah, what a dusty answer gets the soul when hot for certainties in this our life! --George Meredith

2062. Ah, what a sign it is of evil life, Where death's approach is seen so terrible! If some men died and others did not, death would indeed be a most mortifying evil.

2063. Ah, yet, e'er I descend to the grave,---May I a small house and a large garden have.---And a few friends, and many books both true,---Both wise, and both delightful too.---And since love neter will from me flee,---A mistress moderately fair,---And good as guardian angels are,---Only belov'd and loving me. ---(COWLEY).

2064. Ahhh... sweet pity. Where would my love life be without it?

2065. Aibohphobia: the fear of palindromes.

2066. Aid my disillusionment, my friend!

2067. Aim at perfection in everything, though in most things it is unattainable; however, they who aim at it, and persevere, will come much nearer to it than those whose laziness and despondency make them give it up as unattainable.

2068. Aim at the sun, and you may not reach it; but your arrow will fly far higher than if aimed at an object on a level with yourself. -- Joel Hawes

2069. Ain't no chance if you don't take it.

2070. Ain't no woman like the One Eyed Goat

2071. Air Force Inertia Axiom: Consistency is always easier to defend than correctness.

2072. Air is water with holes in it

2073. Aircraft flight in the 21st century will always be in a westerly direction, preferably supersonic, crossing time zones to provide the additional hours needed to fix the broken electronics.

2074. Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value.

2075. Airplanes may kill you, but they ain't likely to hurt you.

2076. Alarm clock: A machine that scares the daylights into you.

2077. Alarm clock: Something that makes people rise and whine.

2078. Alas! how light a cause may move Dissension between hearts that love! Hearts that the world in vain had tried, And sorrow but more closely tied; That stood the storm when waves were rough, Yet in a sunny hour fall off.

2079. Alas!sorrow from happiness is oft evolved.

2080. Alas!we see that the small have always suffered for the follies of the great.

2081. Alas, I am dying beyond my means.

2082. Alas, the conduct of mankind is surprising. Oh you who have been removed from God in his solitude by the abyss of time, how can you expect to reach him without dying?

2083. Albrecht's Law: Social innovations tend to the level of minimum tolerable well-being.

2084. Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life. -- George Bernard Shaw

2085. ALCOHOL KILLS SLOWLY -- So what? Who's in a hurry?

2086. Alden's Laws: (1) Giving away baby clothes and furniture is the major cause of pregnancy. (2) Always be backlit. (3) Sit down whenever possible.

2087. Alexander Graham Bell is alive and well in New York, and still waiting for a dial tone.

2088. Alexander Hamilton originated the put and take system in our national treasury: the taxpayers put it in, and the politicians take it out. --Will Rogers

2089. Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing--and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even.

2090. Alexander the Great was the first pupil of Aristotle. Aristotle was the world's first school teacher. He would only teach school out of doors and all students were required to be first name terms with Mother Nature. Love fresh air and keep your strength of character and you will never be out of work.

2091. Algebra is the metaphysics of arithmetic.

2092. Alike every day makes a clout (rag) on Sunday. (If you wear your best clothes they will soon wear out).

2093. Alimony is a system by which, when two people make a mistake, one of them keeps paying for it.

2094. Alimony is having an ex-husband you can bank on.

2095. Alimony: funds which allow a woman who lived unhappily married to live happily unmarried.

2096. All a man can betray is his conscience.

2097. All a man needs to be elected President is the kind of profile that looks good on a postage stamp.

2098. All a man's ways seem innocent to him, but motives are weighed by the LORD

2099. All actions beyond the ordinary limits are subject to a sinister interpretation.

2100. All adventures, especially into new territory, are scary. Sally Ride