Pat Malone = alone (by one's self)
Patty McGuire = the fire
Pay me rent = a tent
Pen and ink = a stink
Pen and ink = drink
Penny Brown = a town
Pickled pork = a walk
Picadilly = chilly (cold)
Picture stalls = balls (testicals)
Pig's arse = a glass
Pig's ear = beer
Pitch and toss = the boss
Plates of meat = the feet
Pinkity plonk = plonk (cheep wine)
Plum pud = good
Poddy calf = half
Pork and bean = a queen (a homosexual)
Pork pies = lies (to tell porky's)
Post and rail = a fairy tale (to tell a lie)
Pots and pan = the old man (husband)
Potatoe peeler = sheila