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2. CABBAGE twice cooked is death.

3. Cabbage: A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.

4. Cable is not a luxury, since many areas have poor TV reception.--The mayor of Tucson, Arizona, 1989

5. Cache me if you can.

6. Cactus is bitter only to him who tastes of it.

7. Cadavers are dead bodies that have donated themselves to science. This procedure is called gross anatomy.

8. Cadgers are aye cracking of crook saddles. (=Carriers are always talking of pack-saddles.-People tend to talk ' shop.')

9. Caesar's wife must be above suspicion.

10. Calamities are of two kinds: misfortunes to ourselves, and good fortune to others. -- Ambrose Bierce

11. Calamity is man's true touchstone. - - Beaumont and Fletcher

12. Calamity is the perfect glass wherein we truly see and know ourselves. - - William Davenant

13. Calamity is the test of integrity. - - Samuel Richardson

14. Calamity is virtue's opportunity. - - Seneca

15. Calculation never made a hero. --John Henry Newman

16. Calf love, half love; old love, cold love.

17. California is a fine place to live -- if you happen to be an orange.

18. California, n.: From Latin calor, meaning heat (as in English calorie or Spanish caliente); and fornia' for sexual intercourse or fornication. Hence: Tierra de California, the land of hot sex.

19. Calkin's Law of Menu Language: The number of adjectives and verbs that are added to the description of a menu item is in inverse proportion to the quality of the dish.

20. Call him wise whose actions, words, and steps are all a clear because to a clear why.

21. Call intuition cosmic fishing. You feel a nibble, then you've got to hook the fish.

22. Call it Nature, Fate, Fortune; all these are names of the one and selfsame God.

23. Call me cousin, but cozen me not.

24. Call no man foe but never love a stranger. Stella Benson

25. Call no man happy till he dies.

26. Call not that man wretched, who whatever ills he suffers, has a child to love.

27. Call on God, but row away from the rocks. Indian Proverb

28. Call someone who cares

29. Call the bear 'Uncle' till you are safe across the bridge.

30. Calm self-confidence is as far from conceit as the desire to earn a decent living is remote from greed. --Channing Pollock

31. Calm weather in June sets corn in tune.

32. Calmness and irony are the only weapons worthy of the strong.

33. Calvin: Do you believe in the devil? You know, a supreme evil being dedicated to the temptation, corruption, and destruction of man? Hobbes: I'm not sure man needs the help.

34. Campus sidewalks never exist as the straightest line between two points.

35. Can a man carry fire in his bosom and his clothes not be burned? Or can one walk upon hot coals and his feet not be scorched? So is he who goes in to his neighbor's wife; none who touches her will go unpunished.

36. Can anything be so elegant as to have few wants, and to serve them one's self? Freedom is the last, best hope of earth.

37. Can fat people go skinny dipping?

38. Can it be? matter immortal? and shall spirit die? above the nobler, shall less nobler rise? shall man alone, for whom all else revives, no resurrection know? shall man alone, imperial man! be sown in barren ground, less privileged than grain, on which he feeds?

39. Can one preach at home inequality of races and nations and advocate abroad good-will towards all men? --Dorothy Thompson

40. Can that which is the greatest virtue in philosophy, doubt, be in religion what the priests term it, the greatest of sins? Great doubts deep wisdom...

41. CAN THIS REALLY BE MY LIFE? or has there been some mistake?

42. Can we ever have too much of a good thing?

43. Can wealth give happiness? look round and see What gay distress! what splendid misery! Whatever fortunes lavishly can pour, The mind annihilates, and calls for more.

44. Can you remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty?

45. Can you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here,' asked Alice. 'That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,' said the cat.

46. Canada Bill Jones's Motto: It is morally wrong to allow suckers to keep their money.

47. Canada Bill Jones's Supplement: A Smith and Wesson beats four aces.

48. Canada has never been a melting pot; more like a tossed salad. -- Arnold Edinborough

49. Canada is a country whose main exports are hockey players and cold fronts. Our main imports are baseball players and acid rain. -- Pierre Trudeau

50. Canada is the linch-pin of the English-speaking world - Winston Churchill, British Prime Minister, gives an address at Manor House, London.

51. Canada Post doesn't really charge 32 cents for a stamp. It's 2 cents for postage and 30 cents for storage.

52. Cancer is so limited, It cannot corrode faith, It cannot shatter hope,It cannot kill friendships, It cannot cripple love, It cannot destroy peace, It cannot silence courage, It cannot suppress memories, It cannot conquer the spirit.

53. Cancer ---schmancer!as long as you're healthy.--Yiddish Proverbs

54. Candor and generosity, unless tempered by due moderation, lead to ruin.

55. Candor is a proof of both a just frame of mind and of a good tone of breeding. It is a quality that belongs equally to the honest ;man and to the gentleman. - -James Fenimore Cooper

56. Candor is the brightest gem of criticism. - -Benjamin Disraeli

57. Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker. - Ogden Nash.

58. Cannibals are not vegitarians. They are humanitarians.

59. Cannot underestimate the power of fear.

60. Cant get caught in the endless circle

61. Can't never could do anything.

62. Can't never did anything but fail (Mr. Eaton)

63. Can't STAND this hell I feel

64. Can't wait until Christmas.

65. Capacity for joy Admits temptation.

66. Capital as such is not evil; it is its wrong use that is evil.

67. Capital is that part of wealth which is devoted to obtaining further wealth. --Alfred Marshall

68. Capital punishment is as fundamentally wrong as a cure for crime as charity is wrong as a cure for poverty. --Henry Ford

69. Capital! what is capital? Is it what a man has? Is it counted by pounds and pence, stocks and shares, by houses and lands ? No! capital is not what a man HAS, but what a man IS. Character is capital; honour is capital. ---(JOHN WOLCOT).

70. Capitalism and communism stand at opposite poles. Their essential difference is this: The communist, seeing the rich man and his ;fine home, says: "No man should have so much." The capitalist, seeing the same thing, says: "All men should have as much." --Phelps Adams

71. Capitalism is the astounding belief that the most wickedest of men will do the most wickedest of things for the greatest good of everyone.

72. Capitalism is, quite simply, the exploitation of man by man. And Communism is just the reverse.

73. Capitalism: I shopped all day for your birthday.

74. Capricious, wanton, bold, and brutal lust Is meanly selfish; when resisted, cruel; And, like the blast of pestilential winds, Taints the sweet bloom of nature's fairest forms.

75. Captain Cook wrote in his diary of the Australian aboriginals - All they seemed to want was for us to be gone.

76. Captain Penny's Law: You can fool all of the people some of the time, and some of the people all of the time, but you Can't Fool Mom.

77. Capture what you cut off.

78. Car service: If it ain't broke, we'll break it.

79. Car wheels screech on any corner, even on dirt.

80. Caravans are a drag.

81. Cards are the devil's books.

82. Cards were at first for benefits designed, Sent to amuse, not to enslave the mind. -- David Garrick

83. CARE and diligence bring luck.

84. Care for people's approval and you will their prisoner.

85. Care is no cure.

86. Care isn't killing him it's don't care.

87. Care killed a cat.

88. Care to our coffin adds a nail, no doubt, ---And every laugh, so merry, draws one out. ---(JOHN WOLCOT).

89. Career is too pompous a word. It was a job, and I have always felt privileged to be paid for what I love doing. Barbara Stanwyck

90. Careful planning will never replace dumb luck.

91. Careful!!... you may be the only bible some people ever read.

92. Carelessly planned projects take three times longer to complete than expected. Carefully planned projects take four times longer to complete than expected, mostly because the planners expect their planning to reduce the time it takes.

93. Caresses, expressions of one sort or another, are necessary to the life of the affections as leaves are to the life of a tree. If they are wholly restrained, love will die at the roots. -- Nathaniel Hawthorne

94. Caring is everything; nothing matters but caring.

95. Carlson's Consolation: Nothing is ever a complete failure; it can always serve as a bad example.

96. Carpe diem, quam minimum credula postero. Seize the day, put no trust in the morrow.--Horace [65-8 B.C], Odes, book 11

97. Carpenters are just plane folks.

98. Carry the battle to them. Don't let them bring it to you. Put them on the defensive. And don't ever apologize for anything. Harry S. Truman

99. Cars will explode in all accidents.

100. Carson's Observation on Footwear: If the shoe fits, buy the other one, too.