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Stairs
Please be careful what you do,
Or the strangest things, may happen to you,
'Cos when you're walking up the stairs,
Don't do it as if, you have no cares.
'Cos really now, you'll never know,
If their waiting there, to bite your toes.
'Cos biting toes is all they do,
They even bite them through your shoes.
They hide right in the carpet there,
With big red eyes and long black hair.
They have nine legs and feelers too,
They mainly feed on toe jam stew.
So when you're climbing up the stairs,
Please be careful 'cos they're always there.
Do not stop, do what I say,
Or they'll bite your toes then run away.
September 27, 1997
~~ 5 ~~
My Secret
I have this little secret,
It's just that sort of secret,
Now! About my little secret,
So! If you want to share my secret,
November 6, 1997
~~ 13 ~~
The Crock
Whilst walking down the street one day,
I stopped and asked this question,
I put my arms around him,
"When you're cooking pumpkins,
November 11, 1997
~~ 15 ~~
The Planet Gluep
Would you like to come with me?
We'll zoom up to the planets,
'Tis to the planet Gluep we go,
The Glueps they are a crazy mob,
They eat their pickled onions,
They will always make you welcome,
November 11, 1997
~~ 16 ~~
Elephants
I have often wondered,
Did, they go on safari?
Or did they really advertise,
Or maybe they just tricked them,
I really do believe it,
November 12, 1997
~~ 19 ~~
The Hippo
I was walking in the garden,
He was playing roly poly,
I said, "Hey stop that! Hippo,
He said, "I'm really sorry,
I chased him down the lane way,
I searched and searched most everywhere,
November 12, 1997
~~ 20 ~~
The Thing
Do you really think it's real?
It could be just a passing phase,
But if you haven't seen one,
I phoned the local Council,
The moral of this story,
November 12, 1997
~~ 21 ~~
The Weasels Toes
There was this little weasel,
He looked at all his toes there,
His mumsie came a running,
The little weasel cried out,
His dadsie said, "Oh gosh dear,
The moral of this story,
November 12, 1997
And I know nobody knows.
About my little secret,
That keeps my heart aglow.
That really is such fun.
I know you'll never guess it,
'Cos it weighs almost a ton.
I really don't suppose.
That if I was to tell you,
Then would everybody know?
You had better keep it to yourself.
'Cos if you cannot keep it,
I'll just stick it on the shelf.
I was taken by surprise.
I met a little crocodile,
With tears in his eyes.
"Hey crock, what's wrong with you?"
He said he'd broken all his teeth,
While eating pumpkin stew.
And wiped the tears from his eyes.
I told him he must listen,
To some really sound advice.
Remember to take heed.
'Cos If you want to keep your teeth,
You must take out all the seeds."
To a strange place far a way.
Just hold my hand, don't be afraid,
The trip takes thirty days.
And all around the stars.
Don't get upset, don't be concerned,
'Cos I know just where we are.
The friendli-est by far.
You'll never see a bicycle there,
Nor a motor car.
They do things just for fun.
They like to eat their soup with forks,
And their chocolates on a bun.
On toast with chicken jam.
And roasted paddy melons,
With legs of boiled ham.
But be careful what you do.
'Cos if you cry, or make a fuss,
They'll stick you in their stew.
And I guess that you have too.
How did they catch the elephants?
That they have in the zoo.
With ropes and traps and soap.
Or did they catch them with a mousetrap?
And bring them back by boat.
In the papers near and far.
Saying! Elephants, please apply,
So we know just where you are.
And told them lots of lies.
Like! Every-day's, ©Macdonald's day,
With burgers and french fries.
And I think that you do too.
That elephants are very sad,
That live inside a zoo.
One bright and sunny day.
When I came across a hippo,
Who was happily at play.
And jumping up and down.
He was doing backward summersaults,
Leaving footprints in the ground.
That really will not do.
You're squashing all my veggies,
And all my roses too."
I, was only having fun."
Then he poked his tongue out,
And took off with a run.
And yelled for him to stop.
I chased him up the hillside,
But I lost him at the top.
But no where could I find.
That cheeky little hippo,
That made me lose my mind.
Or do you think its not.
I wonder what it really is,
Or is it just a load of rot,
Or is it something new.
Or did you try it once before,
And it didn't work for you.
Then leave the thing alone.
I don't think it's very dangerous,
So maybe I should phone.
They said just let it be.
They'll pick it up on Thursday night,
And ship it out to sea.
Is! If you find one too.
Just ring you local Council,
And they will tell you what to do.
Who had a little sneezel.
He sneezed so hard one morning,
That he blew off all his toes.
A' scattered everywhere.
His eyes were full of tears,
And he pulled out half his hair.
She stood, then scratched her head.
"Oh dear," Said his mumsie,
"We'd better get you home to bed."
A sniff came from his nose.
"But mumsie, dearest mumsie,
What about my toes?"
We really are in luck.
I'll get his toes home safely,
In the back of my toe-truck."
I guess you know it's true.
That! If you ever get the sneezels,
Make sure you wear your shoes.