~~ 257 ~~

My Hankie

"Where did you leave your hankie,"
My mummy said to me,
I said, "I can't remember,
Where-ever it could be."

She'd ironed it o' so neatly,
And put it on my shelf,
And now that silly hankie,
Has gone and lost it self.

I had taken it to school with me,
To blow my little nose,
And to wipe away my tears,
If I was to stub my toe.

But now it's gone a left me,
And my mummy she is mad,
And she says I'll be in trouble,
When she goes and tells my dad.

But my daddy wasn't angry,
He had nothing much to say,
'Cos he had lost his hankie,
Him self at work today.

November 8, 1999

~~ 259 ~~

Never Kick A Duck With Your Gumboots On

You should never kick a duck with your gumboots on,
You should never kick a duck if your name is John.

But!

If you do kick a duck and you do it wrong,
Your feet will stink and your toes will pong.

December 17, 1999

~~ 295 ~~

Mother Goose Land

I had to go to school ya' see
For the very first time today,
But I really didn't want to go,
So! I just simply ran away.

I went to Mother Goose land
Just to see how far it was,
And I went to visit Old King Cole,
Only just because.

That's where I met Miss Muffet
She sat with her curds and whey,
And met Georgy Porgy Puddin' 'n' Pie
Who kissed the girls at play.

And Mary, Mary quite contrary,
I asked, how does her garden grow.
She shook her head, and then she said,
She didn't really know.

Poor Humpty Dumpty he was cracked,
As cracked as cracked could be,
And all the kings horses and all the kings men,
Were eating him up for tea.

And little Jack Horner just sat in the corner,
He screamed and he started to cry,
'Cos he'd put in his thumb and pulled out a plum,
That squirted him right in the eye.

And Mary's little lamb was sick,
The poor lamb had the flue.
So Mary's dad just shot that lamb,
And put it in the stew.

And the little Boy Blue that blew on his horn,
Had played the very wrong note.
Instead of the sheep in the meadows and the cows in the corn
He ended up just with a goat.

And Old Mother Hubbard, (that's the one with the cupboard),
Was hobbling around I could see,
Her dog got no bone so she started to moan
When her dog bit her right on her knee.

And all of those kids that lived in the shoe,
Were smacked by their mother, that's cruel!
So they all ran away to spend most their day,
Learning their lessons at school.

So! I think I'll go back just as fast as I can,
And get ready to go back to school.
There, I'll learn how to read and learn how to write,
And I'll never grow up as a fool.

February 9, 2000

~~ 318 ~~

Singing Silly Songs

I'm such a silly sausage
with the silly songs I sing,
When I sing along in silence,
in the summer and the spring.

And I'm sure that you have wanted,
to sing silly songs your self,
But you've probably got excited
and left them on the shelf.

Shelves are not the proper place
to leave your silly songs,
'Cos silly songs are better sung,
or maybe I am wrong.

But, I'm not a real expert
on silly songs you see,
'Cos those silly song I usually sing,
are only sung to me.

April 28, 2000

~~ 325 ~~

One Little....

One little kangaroo hopping here and there,
Hopping, hopping, hopping everywhere.

Two little wombat's digging very quick,
Digging under stones and digging under sticks.

Three little platypie swimming in a creek,
Catching wrigly worms with, their duck-billed beak.

Four little magpie's chortling in the morn,
Sitting in the sun, keeping nice and warm.

Five little koala-bear's high up in the trees,
Eating lots of tiny, green gum leaves.

Six little goanna's, together in a band,
Laying in the sun on the bright red sand.

Seven little kookaburra's laughing all with glee,
Have caught a big brown snake, to gobble up for tea.

Eight little wallaroo's looking for a feed,
Pulling at the sandalwood, looking for the seed.

Nine little cockatoo's squawking as the fly,
Squawking at each other as they fly across the sky.
Ten little numbat's hiding in the scrubs,
Rooting in the undergrowth for big fat grubs.

Eleven little black-snake's slithering through the grass,
Looking for some mice, in the damp wet marsh.

Twelve little emu's striped with black and white,
Snuggle up together, so they keep warm at night.

May 13, 2000

~~ 377 ~~

Mr. Brown

Mr. Brown he went to town riding on a donkey,
Mr. Brown was fairly sound,
But his donkey it was shonky.

Mr. Brown paid half a crown and bought himself a pony,
The pony shied and then he died,
That pony's now polony.

Mr. Brown began to frown his mind was in a tatter
When Mr. Brown came home from town,
His wife began to natter.

Said Mrs. Brown to Mr. Brown, "Your nothing but a phony,
Our donkey's gone for half a song,
And you bought a sickly pony."

"Get back to town," Said Mrs. Brown, "Be quick and don't you tarry,
Buy our donkey back for half a zac,
Or for you it's harri-karri."

September 30, 2000

~~ 378 ~~

Mrs. Morris

Mrs. Morris's husband Boris went out with Mrs. Green,
They went to town with half a crown,
Never to be seen.

Mrs. Morris said husband Boris was a big disgrace,
But, you'd shoot through too, I'm tellin' you,
If you saw my ugly face.

September 30, 2000

~~ 379 ~~

Mr. Randle

Mr. Randle wore a sandal on the wrong side of his feet,
He walked upside down upon his crown,
When going up the street.

Mr. Randle's single sandal was a sickly shade of blue,
It looked unwell and he could tell,
It had Egyptian flue.

Then Randle's sandal caused a scandal wishing it were dead,
It had stuck its feet upon the sheets,
On Mrs. Randles bed.

Mrs. Randle told that sandal not to vandalise her bed,
'Cos if you do I'm telling you,
I'll bop you on the head.

September 30, 2000

~~ 380 ~~

Mr. Furkin

Mr. Furkin bought a gherkin from the corner shop,
When Mr. Furkin ate his gherkin,
His heart it seemed to stop.

A passer by did hear his cries to get his heart agoin',
'Cos Mr. Furkin's eaten gherkin,
Inside him had been growin'.

Mr. Furkin thumped that gherkin that grew inside his skin
The passer by spat in his eye,
And kicked him in his shin.

Then Mr. Furkin's eaten gherkin flew from out his mouth,
It lost its skin inside a bin,
As it headed south.
Poor Mr. Furkin now hates gherkins he eats white bread instead,
And for tea eats chicory,
Before he goes to bed.

September 30, 2000

~~ 400 ~~

A Goat in a Jolly White Coat

I must go down to the sea again,
To the beautiful, beautiful sea.
There I'll meet a goat in a jolly white coat,
That's lives in the top of a tree.
That goat he will stand in his bucket of sand,
And ask me to build him a castle.
With a wink of my eye I'll tell him goodbye,
And say it's too much of a hassle.
Then the goat he will rant like a crazy bull ant,
And he'll say I'm as mean as could be.
So I'll just give a cough and tell him I'm off,
And for him to get back in his tree.

October 19, 2000