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2. "No man is an island-" Much as we feel and act as individuals, our race is a single organism, always growing and branching-which must be pruned regularly to be healthy. This necessity need not be argued; anyone with eyes can see that any organism which grows without limit always dies in its own poisons. The only rational question is whether pruning is best done before or after birth. Being an incurable sentimentalist I favour the former- killing makes me queasy. But I don't have to like it- and I don't.

3. "Savage" describes a cultural condition, not a degree of intelligence.

4. A "pacifist male" is a contradiction in terms. Most self described "pacifists" are not pacific they simply assume false colours. When the wind changes, they hoist the Jolly Roger.

5. A $1 placed at percent compounded quarterly for years will increase to more than $1,000,000 by which time it will be worth nothing.

6. A bribe is never a bribe. Any such transference of "valuta" must save face for the recipient.

7. No matter how lavishly overpaid, civil servants everywhere are convinced that they are horribly underpaid. But all public employees have larceny in their hearts or they wouldn't be feeding at the public trough. Be careful! A public servant, having no self-respect, needs and demands a show of public respect.

8. A brute kills for pleasure. A fool kills from hate.

9. A competent and self-confident person is incapable of jealousy in anything. Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity

10. A fake fortuneteller can be tolerated. But an authentic soothsayer should be shot on sight. Cassandra did not get half the kicking around she deserved.

11. A generation which ignores history has no past - and no future.

12. A good Karate man works the same way as a good photographer or sculptor does: A perfect result derives from a willingness to discard drastically any attempt less than perfect.

13. A man should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, sail a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyse a problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialisation is for insects.

14. A man who fails to take his own death into account is a fool. A self-centred fool who doesn't love anyone.

15. A motion to adjourn is always in order.

16. A pessimist is correct oftener than an optimist: but an optimist has more fun and neither can change the march of events.

17. A poet who reads his verse in public may have other nasty habits.

18. A thousand reasoned opinions are never equal to diving in and finding out.

19. A touchstone to determine the actual worth of an "intellectual"- find out how he feels about astrology.

20. A woman is not property, and husbands who think otherwise are living in a dream world.

21. A zygote is a gamete's way of producing more gametes. This may be the purpose of the universe.

22. Age does not necessarily bring wisdom. Often, it merely changes simple stupidity into arrogant conceit. It's only advantage, as I see it, is that it spans CHANGE. A young person sees the world as a still picture. Immutable. An old person has had his nose rubbed in changes and more changes, and still more changes until he knows it is a moving picture forever changing. He may not like it; he probably doesn't. But he knows it's so, and knowing it is the first step in coping with it.

23. All men are created unequal.

24. All societies are based on rules to protect pregnant women and young children. All else is surplusage, excrescence, adornment, luxury or folly which can-and must-be dumped in emergency to preserve this prime function. As racial survival is the only universal morality, no other basic is possible. Attempts to formulate a "perfect society" on any foundation other than "Women and Children First!" is not only witless, but it is automatically genocidal.

25. Although I usually don't worry about my "image" so much, sometimes it's expedient to make your neighbours think what you want them to think in order to influence what they do or say.

26. Always cut the cards. You may lose anyhow, but not as much and not as often. And, when you do lose. Smile.

27. Always listen to Experts. They'll tell you what can't be done, and why. Then do it.

28. Always store beer in a dark place.

29. Always take an honour guard with you if you go. And when you go, go down fighting taking as many with you as you can. The size of your guard of honour determines your status in hell.

30. An elephant: A mouse built to government specifications.

31. Any government will work if authority and responsibility are equal and coordinate. This does not insure "good" government; it simply insures that it will work. But such governments are rare- most people want to run things but want no part of the blame. This used to be called the "backseat-driver syndrome".

32. Any priest or shaman must be presumed guilty until proved innocent.

33. Anyone who cannot cope with mathematics is not fully human. At best he is a tolerable subhuman who has learned to wear shoes, bathe, and not make messes in the house.

34. Aristotles had his good days, but Plato was a pretentious fraud.

35. Autocracy is based on the assumption that one man is wiser than a million men. Let's play that over again, too. Who decides?.

36. Avoid making irrevocable decisions while tired or hungry. N.B.: Circumstances can force your hand, so think ahead!

37. Beware of altruism. It's based on self-deception, the root of all evil.

38. Brainpower is the world's scarcest commodity, and the only one of any real intrinsic value. Any human organisation can be rendered useless, impotent, a danger to itself, by selectively removing its best minds while carefully leaving its stupid ones in place. Stupid fools look just like geniuses until the fighting starts.

39. By the data to date, there is only one animal in the Galaxy dangerous to man - man himself. So he must supply his own indispensable competition. He has no enemy to help him.

40. Chaos is the physical extension of mental thought.

41. Cheops' Law: Nothing ever gets built on schedule or within budget.

42. Common sense. The phrase is self-contradictory. Good "Sense" is never "common".

43. Courage is the complement of fear. A man who is fearless cannot be courageous. (He is also a fool).

44. Darling, a true lady takes off her dignity with her clothes and does hew whorish best. At other times you can be as modest and dignified as your persona requires.

45. Dear, don't bore him with trivia or burden him with your past mistakes. The happiest way to deal with a man is never tell him anything he does not need to know.

46. Death is every man's privilege.

47. Delusions are often functional. A mother's opinions about her children's beauty, intelligence, goodness, et cetera, ad nauseam, keep her from trying to drown them at birth.

48. Democracy is based on the assumption that a million men are wiser than one man. How's that again? I missed something."

49. Do not handicap your children by making their lives easy.

50. Don't flagellate yourself over an honest mistake. Correct it as best you can then forget it and don't loose any sleep over it.

51. Everybody lies about sex.

52. Everything in excess! To enjoy the flavour of life, take big bites. Moderation is for monks.

53. Female tears are just about the most powerful aphrodisiac known to man.

54. Free tail is invariably the most expensive sort.

55. French is suited to lyric poetry, more so than is English. It takes an Edgar Allen Poe to consistently wring beauty out of the dissonances of English. German is unsuited to lyricism, so much so that translations fall sweeter on the ear than do the German originals. This is no fault of Goethe or Heine; it is a defect of an ugly language. Spanish is so musical that a soap powder commercial in Spanish is more pleasing to the ear than the best Free verse in English. The Spanish language is so beautiful that much of its poetry sounds best if the listener does not even understand it.

56. Geniuses usually pay only pragmatic attention to rules made by other people. And learn to keep the Eleventh commandment and never get caught. The problem here is that any real improvement in life is met with tons of resistance. Magellan proved it.

57. Get a shot off fast! This upsets him long enough to make your second shot perfect.

58. Give the future enough thought to be ready for it. But don't fret about it too much. Live each day as though you will die the next sunrise. Never think about the past. Ever. No regrets.

59. God is omnipotent, omniscient and omnibenevolent- it says so right here on the label. If you have a mind capable of believing all three of these divine attributes simultaneously, I have a wonderful bargain for you. No checks, please. Cash only, and in small bills.

60. Gods have feet of clay. And all I have seen are swindles: First, to benefit the shamans; second to benefit the kings; and third to benefit the shamans.

61. Grab 'em when they aren't looking. That's the way to handle a nasty drunk.

62. History does record anywhere at any time a religion that has a rational basis. Religion is a crutch for people not strong enough to stand up to the unknown without help. But, like dandruff, most people do have a religion and spend time and money on it and seem to derive considerable pleasure from fiddling with it.

63. Honesty has the relation to truth that theology has to religion - ie. none to speak of.

64. Honesty has the same relation to truth that theology has to religion: ie. none to speak of.

65. Horns need not give a man a headache: But he does need time to grow up and mellow out and acquire self-confidence before he can wear them with tolerance and dignity.

66. Humans hardly ever learn from the experience of others. If they do learn, which isn't often, they do it the hard way.

67. I am not a vegetarian, and I understand that animals are necessary for science and education: but, please, take care of animals that have been brought up to think that they're human!

68. I don't trust a man who talks about ethics while picking my pocket. But if he admits to his own self-interest, I usually have found some way of doing business with him.

69. I have doubts about getting rid of troublemakers. Every loaf needs yeast. A society that gets rid of its troublemakers always goes down hill. Sheep. Pyramid builders at best. Decadent savages at worst. They are eliminating their creative / of %. Their yeast.

70. I have no real "beliefs" concerning the nine thousand faces of God, or some such. Belief gets in the way of learning.

71. I remember a woman's perfume that was named Spring Breezes or some such, but it should have been called Justifiable Rape and sold only under a doctor's prescription.

72. I spent my boyhood just like everyone else. Trying to keep my elders from finding out what I was up to. On the whole, I was successful. The few times I was caught and clobbered taught me to be more careful next time. Keep my mouth shut and not make my "stories" too complicated.

73. I would rather have an assistant who is keyed up tight, than one who thinks he knows it all and is sloppy.

74. If a man has the temperament for power, he finds it hard to abdicate.

75. If a man pushes a rock, can he ignore the avalanche that follows?

76. If I sell a horse, I won't guarantee it has a leg on each corner: the buyer must count them himself.

77. If it can't be expressed in figures, it's not science it's opinion.

78. If it doesn't kill you, it'll only make you stronger.

79. If men were the automatons that behaviourists claim they are, the behaviourist psychologists could not have invented the amazing nonsense called "behaviourist psychology". So they are wrong from scratch- as clever and as wrong as phlogiston chemists.

80. If tempted by something that feels "altruistic", examine your motives and root out that self-deception. Then, if you still want to do it, wallow in it!

81. If the universe has any purpose more important than topping a woman you love and making a baby with her hearty help, I've never heard of it.

82. If there is a purpose in life more important than two people cooperating together in making a baby, all of the philosophers in history haven't been able to find it.

83. If you don't like yourself, you can't like other people.

84. If you happen to be one of the fretful minority who can do creative work, never force an idea; you'll abort it if you do. Be patient and you'll give birth to it when the time is ripe. Learn to wait.

85. I'm not shy, but I prefer not to show the gallant reflex unless I need it at once.

86. In a mature society, 'civil servant' is semantically equivalent to 'civil master'.

87. It has long been known that one horse can run faster than another - but which one? Differences are crucial.

88. It is better to copulate than never.

89. It may be better to be a live jackal than a dead lion, but it is better still to be a live lion. And usually easier.

90. It's amazing how much "mature wisdom" resembles being too tired.

91. It's hard to shake off the taboos a child is indoctrinated with during his early years, even if he finds out later that they are nonsense.

92. It's not the size of the dog in the fight. But the size of fight in the dog.

93. Little girls, like butterflies, need no excuse.

94. Look at the Samurai Sword. Tough enough to slice steel, yet flexible enough to bend without breaking. A warrior should be this way. Bent to earth at times, then when released, to spring back quickly and unbroken. Why? Because, like the sword, the warrior is tempered in a furnace; hammered upon repeatedly and quenched of the heat within him in cold baths, then reheated and cooled more slowly (by disappointments, disasters, patience), until the strength within is flexible strength. The non-warrior only complains of this tempering.

95. Masturbation is cheap, clean, convenient and free of any possibility of wrong doing- and you don't have to go home in the cold. But it's lonely.

96. Maybe Jesus was right when he said the meek shall inherit the earth, but they inherit in very small plots: about six feet by three.

97. Men are more sentimental than women. It blurs their thinking

98. Men rarely (if ever) manage to dream up a God superior to themselves. Most Gods have the manners and morals of a spoiled child.

99. Money is a powerful aphrodisiac. But flowers work almost as well.

100. Money is the sincerest of all flattery. Women love to be flattered. So do men.

101. Most "scientists" are bottle washers and button sorters.

102. Most men prefer "fragrant feminie" to just about any other aphrodisiac, even when they don't know it. It just can't be stale.

103. Moving parts in rubbing contact require lubrication to avoid excessive wear. Honorifics and formal politeness provide lubrication where people rub together. Often, the very young, the untravelled, the naive, the unsophisticated deplore these formalities and scorn to use them. No matter how pure their motives, they thereby throw sand into machinery that does not work too well at best.

104. Never appeal to a man's 'better nature.' He may not have one. Invoking his self-interest gives you more leverage.

105. Never argue with the weather.

106. Never crowd youngsters about their private affairs- sex especially. When they are growing up, they are nerve ends all over, and resent (quite properly) any invasion of their privacy. Oh sure, they'll make mistakes- but that's their business, not yours. (You made your own mistakes, did you not?)

107. Never simply "just injure" a policeman. A wounded policeman is more dangerous than a wounded lion.

108. Never try to teach a pig to sing! You're only wasting your time, and annoying the pig.

109. Never try to teach a pig to sing: You're only wasting time and annoying the pig.

110. Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.

111. Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.

112. No state has an inherent right to survive through conscript troops and, in the long run, no state ever has. Roman matrons used to say to their sons: 'Come back with your shield, or on it.' Later on, this custom declined. So did Rome.

113. No storyteller has ever been able to dream up anything as fantastically unlikely as what really happens in this mad universe.

114. Not one democratic government has ever been formed from a populace that all of whom believed in a democratic society. This also applies to communism.

115. Nursing does not diminish the beauty of a woman's breasts it enhances their charm by making them look lived in and happy.

116. Of all the strange "crimes" that human beings have legislated out of nothing, "blasphemy" is the most amazing - with "obscenity" and "indecent exposure" fighting it out for second and third place.

117. Of the people I have come across, most of them can't think, and most of the remainder won't think. The small fraction who do think can't do it very well. The extremely tiny fraction who think regularly, accurately, creatively, and without self-delusion in the long run these are the only people who count.

118. Of the two, being broke is far more interesting than being wealthy, because a man who's worried about his next meal is never bored. His predicament sharpens his thoughts, spurs him into action, adds zest to his life whether he knows it or not.

119. One does not "let" children get married: they DO get married, when and as and to whom they choose.

120. One man's "magic" is another man's engineering. "Super-natural" is a null word.

121. One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.

122. One of the weirdest things about the human animal is that its body grows up years and years before its brain does.

123. One thing most intelligent women know, but few men ever learn, is that there are times when the only wise action is not to act but to wait.

124. Peace is an extension of war by political means. Plenty of elbow room is pleasanter- and much safer.

125. People always expect their governments to work miracles, even if they are fairly intelligent in other areas.

126. People who don't respect other's property will do anything. And will steal anything if it's not nailed down: even if they have no use for it.

127. People who go broke in a big way never miss any meals. It is the poor jerk who is shy a half slug who must tighten his belt.

128. Place your clothes and weapons where you can find them in the dark.

129. Privacy is as necessary as company: you can drive a man crazy by depriving him of either.

130. Progress doesn't come from early risers. It comes from lazy folks who want to get the job done easier.

131. Properly regarded, male vanity can be a virtue not a vice. Treated correctly by women of intelligence, it makes him enormously pleasanter to deal with. The real problem is the man without vanity. There's no way to get a handle on him!

132. Prostitutes perform the same functions as priests, but far more thoroughly.

133. Really big men are slow and clumsy. They hardly know much about fighting 'cause they've never really had to fight. They're okay to keep order at a bridal shower, or maybe handle a dizzy drunk. If ye want someone who can really do the job, get a small guy who's had to do battle against the "big guys" since primary school to get what he wants. He's learned to "cheat", and is usually pretty good at it.

134. Rub her feet.

135. Sensitivity and Sensibility compliment each other. A person who is sensitive but not sensible is all mixed up. Cannot function properly. A person who is sensible but not sensitive I haven't ever met one and I don't think they exist.

136. Sex can't take up too much time for one who has matured beyond adolescence.

137. Sex is a better tranquilliser than any drug. And better for the metabolism. I don't see why people have such hang ups or have such heavy trips about it It isn't complex, or dangerous. It's simply the best thing in life even better than food.

138. Sex is a learned art, as much so as ice-skating or tightrope walking. It is NOT instinct. Two animal's couple by instinct, but it takes intelligence and patient willingness to turn copulation into a high and lively art. To get really good, you must always be ready to practice and learn, become free of fetishes or silly preconceptions, patiently willing to practice anything you learn, and it is this quality that turns sweaty exercise into a living sacrament.

139. Sex is great; but if you put some sort of holy "aura" around it, sex stops being fun and starts being neurotic.

140. Sex should be friendly. Otherwise, stick to mechanical toys it's more sanitary.

141. Sin is behaviour that neglects the welfare of others.

142. Small change can often be found under seat cushions.

143. Sometimes the best one can do about a weak point is not to call attention to it.

144. Stupidity cannot be cured with money, or through education, or by legislation. Stupidity is not a sin, the victim can't help being stupid. But stupidity is the only universal capital crime; the sentence is death, there is no appeal, and execution is carried out automatically and without pity.

145. Supreme happiness lies in wanting to keep another person warm and safe and happy, and being privileged to try.

146. Surgeons have been turning inadequate males into fake females for a long time. And females into fake males for almost as long. I'm not impressed by such stunts. For good- or bad- I am male. I suppose every human has wondered what it would be like to be the opposite sex at some time or another. But all the plastic surgery and hormone treatments won't make those monsters reproduce. And that is the true magic of human existence.

147. Taxes are not levied for the benefit of the taxed.

148. The coldest depths of hell are reserved for those that abandon children and kittens.

149. The decades may not give a man wisdom, but he'll learn patience or he won't live through them.

150. The lack of money is a correctable nuisance.

151. The lies a man says tells more truth about him than the "truth".

152. The Major Symptom of a Dying Culture: Personal Rudeness. Bad manners. Lack of personal consideration of others in minor matters. A loss of politeness, of gentle manners, is more significant than a riot. The symptom is especially serious when an individual displaying it doesn't think of it as a weakness or ill mental health, but as a sign of his/her strength. Look for it. Study it. That culture is too late to save. Get out fast. Those foolish romantics that try (priests, karate instructors, etc.) are doomed to a life of frustration and bad fingernails.

153. The more you love, the more you can love- and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love.

154. The most fantastic is always possible.

155. The most preposterous notion that H. sapiens ever dreamed up is that the Lord God of Creation, Shaper and Ruler of all Universes, wants the saccharine adoration of His creatures, can be swayed by their prayers, and becomes petulant if He does not receive this flattery. Yet this absurd fantasy, without a shred of evidence to bolster it, pays the expenses of the oldest, largest and least productive industry in all history.

156. The most sophisticated machine ever built by man has in it the inherent limitations of the human mind.

157. The phrase "we (I) (you) simply must" designates something that need not be done. "That goes without saying" is a red warning. "Of course" means you had best check it yourself. These small cliches and others like them, when read correctly, are reliable channel markers.

158. The second most preposterous notion is that copulation is inherently sinful.

159. The shamans are forever yakking about their snake oil "miracles". I prefer the Real McCoy- a pregnant woman.

160. The truth of a proposition has nothing to do with its credibility. And vice versa.

161. The two highest achievements of the human mind are the twin concepts of "loyalty" and "duty". Whenever these twin concepts fall into disrepute-get out of there fast! You may possibly save yourself, but it is too late to save that society. It is doomed.

162. The ways of God, the government, and girls are always mysterious.

163. There are hidden contradictions in the minds of people who "love nature" while deploring the "artificialities" with which "Man has spoiled 'Nature.'" The obvious contradiction lies in their choice of words, which imply that Man and his artefacts are not a part of "Nature"-but beavers and their dams are. But the contradictions go deeper than this prima-facie absurdity. In declaring his love for a beaver dam (erected by beavers for beavers' purposes) and his hatred for dams built by Man (for the purposes of men) the "Naturist" reveals his hatred for his own race- ie. his own self-hatred. In the case of "Naturists" such self-hatred is understandable; they are such a sorry lot.

164. There are times when we must exercise creative inaction. Sit tight. wait.

165. There are two types of lawyers: Those who spend their efforts making life easy for other people. And parasites.

166. There is no conclusive evidence of life after death. But there is no evidence of any sort against it. Soon enough, you will know, so why fret about it?

167. There is no such thing as "social gambling". Either you are there to cut the other bloke's heart out and eat it- or you're a sucker. If you don't like this choice-don't gamble.

168. There is only one way to console a widow. But remember the risk.

169. Thou shalt remember the Eleventh Commandment and keep it Wholly.

170. Three fourths of the fight lies in not hesitating when the time comes.

171. To figure out the basic questions of. this world, it would be necessary to stand outside and look at it. Not inside. Not in two thousand years not in twenty thousand. When a man dies, he may be able to shake loose his local perspective and see the thing as a whole.

172. To get anywhere, or even to live a long time, a man has to guess and guess right, over and over again, without enough data for a logical answer.

173. Unless the need is mutual to all parties involved, your solutions to problems are pragmatic not ethical.

174. Unless you want to kill him immediately thereafter, never kick a man in the balls. Not even symbolically. Or perhaps especially, not symbolically.

175. Virginity is a correctable perversity of no real interest.

176. Want to know the real strength of a man? It's not in how much damage he can inflict, but rather how much he can take and stay on his feet.

177. What a wonderful world it is that has girls in it!

178. What are the facts? Again and again and again what are the facts? Shun wishful thinking, ignore divine revelation, forget what "the stars foretell", avoid opinion, care not what the neighbours think, never mind the unguessable "verdict of history"- what are the facts and to how many decimal places? You pilot always into an unknown future; facts are your single clue. Get the Facts!

179. When a place gets crowded enough to require Id's, social collapse is not far away. It is time to go elsewhere. The best thing about space travel is that it made it possible to go elsewhere.

180. When the need arises - and it does - you must be able to shoot your own dog. Don't farm it out - that doesn't make it nicer, it makes it worse.

181. When the ship lifts, all bills are paid. No regrets.

182. Whenever women have insisted on absolute equality with men, they have invariably wound up with the dirty end of the stick. What they are and what they can do makes them superior to men, and their proper tactic is to demand special privileges, all the traffic will bear. They should never settle merely for equality. For women, "equality" is a disaster.

183. Without exception, politicians are non-productive and are capable at cheating in solitaire.

184. Work is not an end itself there must always been time enough for love.

185. Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of- but do it in private and wash your hands afterwards.

186. You can have Peace. Or you can have Freedom. Don't ever count on having both at once.

187. You have to have a feeling for what makes the frog jump.

188. You live and learn. Or you don't live long.

189. You won't find feathers on a frog.

190. Your enemy is never a villain in his own eyes. Keep this in mind it may offer a way to make him your friend. If not, you can kill him without hate - and quickly.