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~~ 329 ~~

~~~ Love Sublime ~~~

They measure time you waste my dear, in multitudes of years.
And what I cried for you in pain, I'll never cry for you again in pain or cry again in tears.
Those words we heard were angry words, not words of love we should have heard.
So! Your parting left me free'er than a bird.

I wondered here and wondered there, aimlessly of course.
I travelled far and travelled wide, I'd lost my meaning of my life and also lost the meaning of my choice.
Until I found a place of trees, a place where peace floats through the trees with ease and brings us endless harmony.
So! I waited to be free.

I waited there for it all to be, my waiting was of patiently.
Then! There came a girl, a perfect pearl, she was standing next to me, and when she touched my soul she set me free.
I looked into her soft, soft eyes to see the path that showed that sign to see her feelings join with thoughts of mine.
Then my life became a symitry, as fleeting as my prime.

My prime was gone, it passed me by so my tears they seem to cry.
Then! She took my hand into her hand and walked though paths of timeless sand into this wondrous land of love sublime.
My heart it raced a racing pace, of a man whose been displaced with life without a trace of solitary truth.
I stopped, and then I finally found my youth.

May 26, 2000

~~ 330 ~~

~~~ Time Misspent ~~~

We gave to each a weakened cry as we wiped the tears of goodbye from our already bloodied battered rose.
A rose of love or hate I do not state.
What have we done?
We've lost the only one that took us from our lives of love to shattered dis-repose.
Or who's to know?
Those hours will, no more be getting late.
So if it must be, then let it be,
Then we can see the space and time of our utter lonely dis-regret,
Or better yet!
The past of time at last.
Have we selfishly lost our insecurities of delusions within our cluttered minds of time misspent,
To fade into our empty timeless past.

May 27, 2000

~~ 368 ~~

~~~ Broken Dreaming ~~~

The Black and Silver ascends the intricate mountain,
with each step the processed air expels,
short and sharp they come and go
knowing how far to rise before
the cessation of those steps.

All around is a sort of semi circle
faces look,
some happy,
others with the looks of complexity
being the creation of New Hope.

The Black and Silver bends
not knowing her Ancestral Dreaming,
a fire erupts and encircles the Black and Silver,
engulfing her the Ring of Fire ascends
and with it the Black and Silver's Spirit and Dreaming ascends.

Only evil will befall the Black and Silver,
she has broken the Sacred Law of the Dreaming.
The Gnundjana will come, the Boolya men will come,
The Kuruyndjadii will come, the Khadja men will come,
The Ancestral Spirits of the Tribal Elders will come.
They will strip the flesh from the bones of the Black and Silver,
Then they will devour the heart and liver of the Black and Silver
making the Black and Silver no more.

Her Spirit and her Dreaming has been taken,
the Black and Silver is no more,
all her enemies have seen her and her chosen people.
The Waroo Jinghi has come,
The Namoonah and Pingoo are no more,
The Kooroona and Nungnah are no more,
The Sacred Law of the Dreaming has been broken,
The Sacred Law of the Dreaming is no more.

September 17, 2000

~~ 369 ~~

~~~ Realms of Her Eternity ~~~

silently she creeps, slowly at first
then, with a quickened pace she moves.
clutched to her breast is a small shape from her past,
her heart races in panic, afraid of being heard.
she stops to listen,
straining above the silence of the night
as the darkness enters her head,
fear grips her as she falls,
the falling stops with a crunch,
still clutching her past her eyes close.
tears pool in her mind as she slowly slips into the past,
the darkness engulfs her in the completeness of her past,
then by the power of creation the coldness of death settles upon her
to guide her into the realms of her eternity.
her past is no longer for her to hold,
the grayness of death has consumed her broken body,
her eyes stare into the absolute of nothingness
but, within the depth of her eyes the pathway to her soul exists,
those who come for her see the path within her eyes,
they knowingly smile in the understanding that
her spirit lives for tomorrow
and her yesterdays belong to the dead.

September 18, 2000

~~ 370 ~~

~~~ Left Me for Charlie ~~~

deafening silence, not a sound
except for deep throated crickets.
four of us with blackened faces
lay waiting, watching,
not a sound but crickets and
the occasional barking of a frog to its mate.

the humidity takes our every breath,
with our throats dry and void of any moisture
we silently gasp for air,
sweat and dirt covers our bodies
causing unbearable irritation
but, we lay still, silent, watching and waiting.

a new sound broke the silence,
an unfamiliar sound,
I felt it cross my arm then stop,
inches from my face two eyes meet mine,
tasting the air around my face
its tongue it brushed my cheek,

fear of knowing death could just but seconds away
I froze, scared to blink, scared to call out
for fear of giving our position away,
panic took control of my mind,
fear of an agonising death filled my head,
then, as quickly as it came it went.

the smell of urine hit my nostrils as,
I felt the warm liquid soak into my greens.
three blackened faces look at my fear,
one face blankly whispered, "did it get ya' mate",
"no thank God", I whispered back,
"It left me for charlie".

September 19, 2000

~~ 371 ~~

~~~ Waves of Infancy ~~~

waves of infancy cover the redemption of fools,
the light hits the dark with a flash of improbability
only to land on a void of incest,
screams of pain are heard above the simplicity of the soul
as feet race to be silenced beneath the quadrant of complexity,
minds burn within the depredation of innocence
forcing the incomprehensible blood
to run reversibly through the veins of insanity
creating the vortex of immortality.
creation of one is not the creation of two,
creation of a fool creates surrealistic matter
within the uselessness of delirium,
consequently bringing down the forthrightness of man.

September 19, 2000

~~ 386 ~~

~~~ This Pain Inside of Me ~~~

Why do I carry this pain inside of me?
Did I do wrong in a past life?
Do I have to suffer for my past?
What did I do, what have I done to deserve this pain?
Is it my destiny to fail and suffer in pain again?
Has love come to me only to be taken by others?
My legs walk but no steps are taken,
I don't seem to advance as once I did,

Is my time at hand to be taken to suffer again?
Must I do it all again until I get it right?
What is right, what do I need to do to make it right
Are my erections incomplete because of some sin filled act?
Do I loose my thoughts because I was once without pity?
Do my legs ache because I failed to run to the aid of others?
Does my back ache because I have failed to lift the burden from the past?

Why does my God forsake all my prayers of help?
Have I forsaken my God in a past life?
Or is there no God, only a God of imagination?
Is my pain only in my imagination, am I just an imagination?
Do I really exist in the form I am or am just a wisp of energy?
Are my sacriligionous thoughts my punishment for my disillusions?
Is my God laughing at my improper thoughts?
Do I pull this trigger and die a thousand deaths,
To die over and over until I learn to love my God,
To die over and over until I learn to trust in my God.

My God is the universe of life and all things universal to life,
All the universal energies that exist in this plane,
My God is all things spiritual and all things true,
I need to follow my God to reach my destiny,
I must leave the evil karma of dishonesty to the past,
To be able to reach for the light of true peace.

October 3, 2000

~~398 ~~

~~~ Sonnet ~ No. 1~~~

Melancholy moments, of days of yesteryear,
They take me back to times before, which now have long gone by.
That filled me full of hopelessness and filled me full of fear,
To remind me of sad memories and of tears I used to cry.
The pains of my first lover, that kiss that took my heart,
We faced our future unafraid, our lives so full of hope.
With promises to hold our love, until death does us part,
And when our world it fell apart, somehow we could not cope.
That love you had just disappeared, I had to set you free,
You took my heart and crushed it, with pain right to my core.
When you told me that your heart, was no longer meant for me,
You'd made it so I'd never trust, or love forever more.
I left that place, our sanctuary we'd built on shifting sands,
To face the world with nothing more, than shaking empty hands.

October 18, 2000

~~ 402 ~~

~~~ Shot ~~~

A shot rang out,
cold, unexpected fear raced
through my already weakened mind,
Panic steps in, as the thought of being left behind became a reality.
Each side of me the rotting corpses that once were men slowly decomposed.
And with each breath the bile in my gut slowly creeps towards my mouth
seeking its freedom from the bullet lodged within my life.
Blood, brown not red, oozes between my fingers warming my skin.
I look for the red blood but its not there, only dark brown, black blood,
my heartbeats increase with each drop that runs between my fingers.

It's dark, my eyes are open, but I can't see anything except darkness.
Praying to my God I look for solace, I look for help, nothing comes.
I hear the faint sounds of death calling me, or is that voices in my mind?
My body floats like I'm on air; my pain is numbness, nothing more,
white faces stare into mine, are they the faces of Christ?
Trembling hands pull at my clothes; must I be naked to meet my God?
Time stands still.
White lights flash before me in ceaseless and endearing repartition
of the uselessness of my life,
death clouds me with a heaviness I've never felt, my soul fades,
but, my consciousness awakens me to the feeling of a knife,
a knife that cuts my flesh in search of the bullet that's laying its claim to my life.

I see myself prostrate on a white table with bright, white lights shining
illuminating the broken bloodied tissue of my body.
Four green clothed figures busy themselves with the task at hand,
"The savior of life", is that their claim, maybe, who's to know
but the All Mighty himself, no other.
Will he let me live or do I become another corpse to be burnt or buried?
I crawl back into my shell to become a mortal again, to wait.
Time itself will be the judge, no other.
As I wait my mind reflects in thought of the wonderment
of mans need to wage war upon his own.

October 24, 2000

~~ 404 ~~

~~~ Just Another Number in the Draw ~~~

"Struth! Fair crack of the whip," He cried,
As the bullets went whistling bye.
"That was close, they nearly got us that time", Whispered Harry.
"Shud'up," Was the only reply I had,
"Keep ya' head down ya' fools, do ya' wanna' die?"

Those were the words I kept sayin' to me-self over and over again
As my fear raced through my mind.
What was I doin' here I kept askin' me-self, Christ, I could be at home,
I would be home if those bastards hadn't pulled me number,
But I had no choice; it was either be here or be shot.

Bein' shot by them was no different than bein' shot here I 'spose,
Ya'd still die the same old way.
Christ, what I'd give for a cold beer and a pie, not them army pies,
But them pies ya' buy at the MCG when Charltons playin' Collingwood.
It would be great to see those big men fly.

Then complete silence filled the air, nothing more than silence,
Except, for the fantasies still inside my head.
Even the bugs and frogs were silent, no wind, nothin', pitch black and nothin',
All I could hear was the thump, thump, thump of me heart ringin' in me ears
But! They were comin', I could feel 'em, I could smell 'em.

My eyes closed with visions of home and me mums laughter.
"In commin'", Yelled Harry.
All hell broke loose, grenades and mortars burstin' every where, shit where are they!.
"Christ harry I can't see 'em!" I yelled just to see him fall void of life,
I seen two more fall before that blackness engulfed me too.

I was cold, was I dead I asked myself as I tried to move,
Gee I must be dead I thought,
'Cos I can't feel nothin', not me arms or legs and I can't move at all.
Next thing I know I'm starin' up at a bright light and a couple of jokers are sayin'
"Old 'im down were nearly finished with 'im, 'e'll live".
I'll live, Christ that's good to know, so I must still be alive,
I'm not dead after all,
But when I found out what had happened to me, I wished to Christ I were dead.
What's a man gunna' do goin' home like this I thought, all busted up and bits missin',
Even me own mother won't recognise me.

I couldn't be moved in a hurry so, days turned to weeks then turned to months,
I finally got home, back home at last.
Me dad came to see me and told me mum was gone, "she won't be commin' to see ya,
her heart give out", He said with tears in his eyes, "she couldn't wait no more son",
Just as well I thought, she would never have recognise me anyway.

October 27, 2000


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