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~~ 511 ~~
~~~ Dreams ~~~
I need to tell you of my dreams my love;
These dreams have ruled my innerbeing for so long.
It's the same dream I have been having for as long as I can remember.
In my dreams, all I can see is a girl standing by a swing waiting for me with her hand stretched out,
The field is full of flowers; she is standing there in a long white dress,
With a round hat, maybe a round straw hat, I'm not sure,
Anyway, she is standing there with a small poesy of flowers,
I think there is a long ribbon on her hat.
She is waiting for somebody and she has a big smile on her face,
Her hand is held out and when I try to grab it she keeps moving,
And she laughs and say "come on and catch me".
The closer I get to her the further she is away,
And she keeps laughing at me,
I then decide to stop chasing her, then she stop running, she then say,
"What's the matter don't you want me", I say,
"I don't need a women that does not know what she wants, so be gone."
She then sits on the swing and look at me and says, "what do I need to do to make you want me,"
I then say, "what is a women without love"
She says, "but I am a women with love"
I say, "you are a women with the heart of a Judas you take and do not return what you are given.
For if I was to weigh the love I have for you there would be no scales on earth or within the realms of reality to measure the intensity of my love for you".
She just laughs at me.
We are at the fountain, and there is a guard,
The guard calls out that we should stop drinking from the fountain,
I laughed, and say, " why should I",
Then the guard says, " it was not proper to drink from the fountain,"
He then said that a lovely girl like you should not be seen with the likes of me and you stood up for me,
And told the guard to go away.
I can still remember her father coming and telling me that,
I must not be with her because she is a princess and I am just a fool.
I told her father that he would never stop me from loving her,
He started to yell at me and then stabs me with his dagger and I fall to the ground,
I feel no pain, then she rush's to my side,
I tell her that, my eyes grow weary.
I say to her, "I am thinking of the times we laughed the times we cried,
We shared all these times together do you remember,
I can see the box that you put me in, you put me in two boxes; remember,
Just in case I got out of one I would still be in the other one."
I can hear voices and they are saying my life is nearly over,
And I have tried to reach out and grab the hand of love and I have missed,
But "alas", the voice says, " next time may be your turn."
We are not meant to be together this time, maybe next time,
Because I am of the blue and red, she is of the blue and green,
You can change your colors but you cannot change your Aura.
I say to her that I am slowly wasting away from the pain that she have given me,
No that's not fair,
I am just hurt and I want the hurting to stop,
But how do I stop hurting,
I am a fool sometimes, let me look into my karma ,
I must have time to think before I die.
I awaken from this dream with unbelievable pain,
I have had this dream so many times in this life
And my dreams always return with me in death.
We all have the ability to leave our bodies in search of the truth;
I have done this many times.
But last night while I tossed and turned a complete feeling of peace came over me
And for the first time in many years I was looking down upon myself.
It was the first time I had left my body for so long
And its scared me a bit until I remembered how to control and calm my innerbeing.
I was floating with ease or was I being pulled along by a controllable urge
To be in a place that I had been before.
Now my dreams have changed,
My dream changed as it comes back to me,
I can see the same girl standing waiting for me with her hand stretched out
And when I reached for her hand I could not grab it and she kept running from me.
Then, I see her sitting on a swing and then I am standing behind her pushing her.
She has long hair with a ribbon tied at the back,
I can't make out the color of the ribbon but I think its pink,
She is smiling to me, but I still can't see her face clearly,
She gets off the swing and faces me,
I still can't see her face clearly; she puts out her hand,
I hesitate, because every time I have tried to touch her hand she's pulled it away,
But this time she lets me touch to her hand,
She holds my hand tightly then she puts out her other hand towards me,
As we hold hands a feeling of immense calmness, warmth and love take hold of me
And starts to flows through our bodies.
Its like the whole world stopped turning and we were floating through the air
And we are the only ones that ever found and felt the truth of love,
We then hold each other in our arms,
The feeling I have is like no other I have felt before,
It is as if my search was over and I had found the love that I had been searching fore for so long,
When we kiss, it was a feeling that I cannot explain properly,
A feeling of complete joy, happiness and contentment.
She is younger than I, and as we kissed she slowly transcended into a beautiful woman,
But I still could not see her face clearly
And all the time this was happening not a word between us was spoken,
We made love, not from passion but with love,
Love that was so intense there was no way to describe it,
As we made love I could not see her body but I could feel every part of her body,
It was like we had melted into one being.
We then just lay there in each other's arms,
Our bodies were as one, as we laid there we could not stop crying tears of joy,
I still could not see her face clearly,
I could see her beautiful smile but the rest of her face kept evading me.
We stood up and caressed each other because we knew it was time to part,
I had to go back to my earthly body before I woke,
For if I did not return I would surely die and never see my love again,
I had waited so long to find her so I knew would not risk loosing her now.
As our hands parted she said ten words "I love you my darling, I will await your return"
She then turned away and walked into a mist,
I could not stop the tears failing from my eyes, my heart was pounding and I called out
"I love you, please, do not leave me, I have just found you my love",
But she was gone.
I was then floating and looking down at myself while I slept,
I could see the tears coming from my sleeping form,
I knew then that I must at once return to my body.
The strange part is that, when I did wake up,
I did have tears in my eyes,
And I had a feeling of immense emptiness.
© October 30, 2001
~~ 513 ~~
~~~ Why I Love You ~~~
You ask, "Why do I love you."
When I say true love, I mean,
There is so many ways that I love you,
I see the way your eyes shine when I tell you, "I love you",
My dearest love, I shall love you, I shall keep you,
I sometimes wonder if it is the payment of the past,
When I await you I have knots within myself,
All I know that within my heart and soul without your love I will surely die.
I know that the next life has to be better than this one,
So do not give up, because I know,
My dearest, dearest, darling, I have no reason to hurt you,
My life is a miserable unmeaningful existance without your love,
© October 31, 2001
~~ 514 ~~~
~~~ You Are My Dreams ~~~
I first spoke to her not so long ago and,
I had to ask myself,
Me being a curious person said "yes";
My dreams had been that of two lovers that,
I had known this beautiful lady in past lives and,
But this time, I somehow knew that it would be different,
In this life, as a young child I had had this dream once or twice,
Being foolish and not understanding the true meaning of these dreams,
So I knew then, that any relationships that I was in,
Before I saw the photograph of this lady,
It was like I was back in my dream and re-living it,
Do you remember that dream I shared with you,
I have had this dream only one more time since then and,
I have loved you for so long and, I know every part of your mind,
Consummating or love will be,
© November 2, 2001
~~ 515 ~~
~~~ Our Beginning ~~~
'Twas good to talk to you again my love,
I can tell that you are happy when you talk to me,
When you feel you are being threatened or,
You are unhappy with your married life because,
(When you read this you have to understand
You are afraid that you will never get the chance to find real love
We may very well achieve this with each other,
I have a great fear of flying and I have to overcome that fear,
I feel the same when I phone you,
I think it would be nice to be your slave for a little while,
© November 3, 2001
~~ 525 ~~
~~~ When Seen from the Eyes of His Mother ~~~
When seen from the eyes of his mother
To her he was one in a million
He'd been such a wonderful child
He'd taken a gun to avenge her
With her home and memories demolished
They, fill her with pills and with poisons
Now, she lives in the past with her memories
She sits in that room full of empty
She curls in her bed like a child
She woke to the sound of that ticking
When seen from the eyes of his mother
© January 6, 2002
~~ 537 ~~
~~~ In the Mist of Time ~~~
In the mist of clouds I see them, in a mist of time they come,
I stand tall to see them and again beckon them to stand,
He moves closer still, it's as if I cannot see him in his painted form.
The painted one is out of breath as he comes to me and sings;
There are women and smaller children over the hill,
The young men have exhausted themselves and are ready
The moss that grows here is applied to the cut, it helps halt the flow of blood.
As the blood of the young men soak into the rock and dry,
© February 15, 2002
I feel as though I need to call out,
And tell the world that I have finally found,
The most precious gift a man could ever have.
That precious gift is to find true love.
Love that can be felt from afar,
Love that is felt by just being near you,
Love that is felt by just holding you hand,
Love that is felt just by looking at you,
Just to hold you makes me feel so much love from within myself for you.
I love you when I sleep,
I love you when I dream,
I love you when I laugh,
I love you when I cry,
There are so many, many ways I love you.
I feel the tender touch from you when I say, "I love you",
I feel the love come from your lips when I kiss them,
The love I feel for you is so immense,
That the universe is just a small speck compared to the enormity of love I have for you.
I shall take away all your hurt and fear,
All you have to say is that you trust and want and need what I have to give you,
Our love will never see the chains and shackles of despair,
If we are strong enough to hold and share,
This love we have found in this short space of time we shall not succumb.
That makes it so hard to let go,
And to make the most of what little time we have left in this lifetime.
I walk to the door and look and panic,
The panic is that you might not be coming to be here with me,
I find it very hard to accept that you have another life to live,
And you have other commitments to abide by.
If this is all I have to look forward to,
Please tell me so I can console myself and look deep into my karma,
I'll forgive this life and prepare for the next.
Because as time goes by we only get better and better
Until such time as we no longer need ourselves,
We are then past on to a higher state of being,
When this happens we will all be happy.
That you will never be happy where you are now,
Time will pass and all your wounds will heal,
But the person that caused your wounds,
Will suffer for a thousand lifetimes.
I only have an all-powerful over-bearing love for you.
If you were to want me, you would never regret it,
And nobody in the whole wide world,
Would ever find you or ever hurt you again,
For I would gladly lay down my life for you.
When I say miserable unmeaningful existance,
That is what life is without you by my side,
Words cannot truly explain how I feel.
The first time we spoke I knew that there,
Was something special about her,
And that's when she started to invade my thoughts,
My mind, my heart and soul, my very being.
I kept thinking about her but, at that time,
I could not find the answers to why this lady,
Was continually in my thoughts.
"Why is this lady having such an effect on my life";
The answer to this question kept evading me until;
One day when I spoke to this beautiful lady,
She asked if I would like to see a photograph of her.
And when I saw her photograph I knew then my life would change forever.
In that photograph I saw the face of my destiny, and my soul mate,
Because, in my dreams I had seen her face so many times before.
Had come together in perfect unison,
Who had joined together their love,
Their bodies and souls to make a perfect existence.
We had been lovers many times before but,
We never had the chance to be together for very long,
Because within these dreams I was always destined to die.
So sadly they had not the right times for us to be together.
It was the right time to be with her,
My heart and soul, my inner voice was guiding me
So I had to follow to where my inner voice was guiding me.
And being so young I never knew quite what to make of these dreams,
But, as I grew older and as these dreams became more frequent,
I knew that there was a special lady somewhere waiting for me.
I had reached out and grabbed the wrong lady,
This became apparent quickly because, I still had these dreams,
In these dreams I could never see the face of my soul mate clearly,
But, I knew her face well and when I was to meet her I would know.
Was doomed to fail no matter what I did to try and make them work.
And they did fail.
This has been happening all of my life up until now.
I had had my dream again and it was then her face became perfectly clear.
I knew then that this lady was not far away from revealing her presence,
And when I saw her photograph my heart it stopped for a moment.
I started to shake and tears came to my eyes,
I asked myself "how can this be true?"
I had waited so long for my dreams to come true and,
Was it going to come true?
And when I had to leave my dream and return to my body,
And that lady had said ten words to me before she walked into the mist
"I love you my Darling, I will await your return".
And I begged her to stay, now I know what she meant.
I know that when we meet and we touch hands, we will know,
I know that when we look into each other's eyes, we will know,
And I will know that we have found each other.
We would never part again.
Every part of your body and soul,
And when we meet there will be no need for words.
When we touch we will already know each other's needs and wants,
It will be like we have known each other forever.
The most beautiful experience that we will ever have.
It will be like that unbelievable dream.
Because my darling, you are that dream.
Every time I speak to you I feel closer to you,
And that's a nice feeling to have.
And I can tell a lot of other things about you too.
Maybe I should tell you what I can feel from you
And if I am wrong, please enlighten me.
I can feel that you are unhappy with your marriage
For the reasons that it hasn't turned out as you had hoped,
And you have lost a lot of your softness because of this.
Your space is being invaded you get defensive,
And start to build a barrier around yourself.
This barrier you have built has made you hard,
And has un-expectant of life,
And what life has waiting for you.
Marriage was not what you expected and he is not a caring man,
And has sex only for himself,
And he has no considerations for your feelings whatsoever.
You live for your children and your work,
And you live for the other people around you,
And you give very little thought to your own happiness.
Only when you are away from this man,
You start to feel at peace with yourself,
And then you start to feel happy.
I am not a man with a talent for finding the right words,
So I am trying my best to put the right words in the right place).
Or even know what real love is, this is all going to change.
We both have dreams and they appear to be one of the same,
We are looking for love, caring, understanding and peace within our hearts.
We will know as soon as we hold hands;
Just talking to and looking at each other,
Will not give us the answers we are looking for.
When we touch, that will be the big test for our true feelings.
There is only one way of testing yourself to see if,
There is true love and that is by touch.
Touching is the most important way of expressing our feelings,
Without touch there is no love, we can touch each in many ways.
We can touch with our eyes or our voice even with written words.
When we physically touch it is then that we are truly testing our love.
To hold you darling and to feel the warmth, tenderness,
And energy coming from your beautiful body,
That will surly be the most wonderful thing imaginable.
I have to overcome that fear to be with you,
I would rather fight 100 men or drink poison than fly.
But, you have given me the strength to overcome that fear,
And my love for you now knows no fear.
You are a beautiful lady and my love for you knows no bounds,
My heart is so full of love for you.
I find it very hard my darling to put into words how I truly feel.
I look so forward to seeing your name comes up on the screen each night
And when it does, my heart stops momentarily then starts again,
I feel a rush of energy from you, my head spins and I feel numb all over,
And the silliest part is that for a moment I am truly lost for words.
The effect you have on me is so great that,
You could easily wrap me around your little finger,
But I will have to resist that (if I can),
And be stronger than I have ever been before.
And give to you and do for you what ever you heart desired,
No matter what your desires were.
He did not a thing that was wrong,
When seen from the eyes of his mother
He filled her old heart with a song.
A part of her heart and her head,
And the tears from her eyes they ran freely
For tomorrow she knew he'd be dead.
He did all those things he was told,
But, tomorrow they'll hang him for murder
And tomorrow her son will be cold.
For the wrong those people had done,
They'd taken away all her memories
Now they've taken away her one son.
She lives in a room with a bed,
With a chair and a table of plastic
Would she be better off dead?
And take all her pension for keep,
And the noise from the traffic that flys past
Keeps her awake from her sleep.
Of a love that just burst at the seams,
And, tomorrow they hang him for murder
To bring an sad end to her dreams.
Like the cell where son waits in fear
For the clock to strike out that last second
When she'll lose all things she held dear.
And falls into dreams of the past,
When her son and their life it was happy
But, the die it was set and was cast.
Of the clock on the wall overhead,
And she knew at that very same instant
That her son had been hung and was dead,
He did not a thing that was wrong,
When seen from the eyes of his mother
He filled her old heart with a song.
Do they not see me or, am I within the dreaming?
Am I their ancestor reborn for this moment,
And am here to guide them, I wave to them to come.
I beckon them to come, slowly at first and they come,
The tufts of grass move before them to hide their faces,
Their bodies move and roll like the grasses they crawl through,
They fear no one; yet, they hide and crawl as if they are afraid.
Stand like the men they are, neither brave nor afraid.
One stands to show his painted form, then he makes a rush,
He rushes towards me then stops to look to the others,
The others who are invisible only to them-selves lay still,
I hold my ground and the painted one stops fifty feet before me,
He raises his spear as if to throw, but he just goes through the motions.
Does he believe that I fear him or does he fear me?
Does he think he is invisible or indestructible?
I stand still within the ring not waving or moving,
I am not afraid, I am here by need not by chance.
The painted one enters the ring and hands me his spear and his nulla.
The three rings within the larger ring denotes the place of initiation.
There are large rocks placed like operating tables face North-South,
The three smaller rings are placed to the west of these rocks.
We have come from a place far to the east,
We have crossed the wide desert and the water holes of salt,
We have ran without sleep or water for five days,
We have taken no food or slowed in our pace,
We are here to be made into men, we are children no more.
The elders have called us to this place of dreaming,
The dreaming is here, we are here, we have come,
They sit within three large circles or stones.
These large circles are surrounded by a larger circle,
They are forbidden to move from these circles.
The women over the hill begin to wail like the wind,
They wail to give their sons the power to become men.
Their wailing will bring the spirit of the dreaming,
Yet they fear to move, for if they do they will die.
The first lays upon the larger stone and two lay on the others to wait.
The rose-quartz knife is sharp and it cuts his penis from tip to scrotum,
It's a clean cut and his blood flows freely,
His penis has been splayed to stop impregnation,
Only a selected few may copulate and plant the seed of their tribe,
The young men are there for the older women,
And the young healthy women are for the chosen few,
And such are the laws of these ancient people.
Then with all his strength the young man stands and staggers to the women,
The women will nurse him for two days then he will be on his own,
Twenty-two young men were cut that day and two women died.
Two women broke the law and moved, their organs will be removed,
These organs will be fed to the jingi men for their dreaming,
And the rest of the flesh will be shared with the tribe,
And what is left will be fed to the dogs.
So will the flesh and the bones of the tribe return to the earth.
And as the mist of time rises they'll disappear into the dreaming.
I stand within the ring and see only the staining of time,