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2. "LSD melts your mind, not in your hand"

3. 2000 BC - Here, eat this root. 1000 AD - That root is heathen. Here, say this prayer. 1850 AD - That prayer is superstition. Here, drink this potion. 1940 AD - That potion is snake oil. Here, swallow this pill. 1985 AD - That pill is ineffective. Here, take this antibiotic. 2000 AD - That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root.

4. 668: The Neighbour of the Beast.

5. 7/5th of all people do not understand fractions.

6. A cigarette is a pinch of tobacco, wrapped in paper, fire at one end, fool at the other.

7. A closed mind is a good thing to lose.

8. A Committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing, but as a group decide that nothing can be done.

9. A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.

10. A conservative is a politician who wants to keep what the liberals fought for a generation ago.

11. A crumb from a winner's table is better than a feast from a loser's table!

12. A cynic is a person searching for an honest man, with a stolen lantern.

13. A disbelief in God does not result in a belief in nothing; disbelief in God usually results in a belief in anything.

14. A dozen press agents working overtime can do terrible things to the human spirit.

15. A drunk mans' words are a sober mans' thoughts.

16. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

17. A fool must now and then be right by chance.

18. A foolish man proclaimeth his qualifications; A wise man keepeth them secret within himself; A straw floateth on the surface of water, but a precious gem placed upon it sinketh.

19. A friend is someone that won't begin to talk behind your back when you leave the room.

20. A gentle word, like summer rain, may soothe some heart and banish pain. What joy or sadness often springs, from just the simple little things!

21. A girl phoned me and said...Come on over there's nobody home. I went over... Nobody was home!

22. A giving church is a living church.

23. A goal properly set is halfway reached.

24. A great deal of intelligence can be invested in ignorance when the need for illusion is deep.

25. A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.

26. A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes. (Hugh Downs)

27. A hard thing about business is minding your own.

28. A heavy burden does not kill on the day it is carried. (Kenyan Proverb)

29. A learned County Court judge in a book of memoirs recently said that the overwhelming amount of his time on the bench was taken up "with people who are persuaded by persons whom they do not know to enter into contracts that they do not understand to purchase goods that they do not want with money that they have not got."

30. A little learning is a dangerous thing, but a lot of ignorance is just as bad.

31. A little lie is like a little pregnancy it doesn't take long before everyone knows. (C. S. Lewis)

32. A little nonsense now and then is cherished by the wisest men.

33. A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.

34. A man convinced against his will is still of the same opinion.

35. A man is never astonished that he doesn't know what another does; but he is surprised at the gross ignorance of the other in not knowing what he does.

36. A man is not where he lives, but where he loves. (Latin Proverb)

37. A man never stands as tall as when he kneels to help a child.

38. A man spends the first half of his life learning habits that shorten the other half of his life.

39. A man's wisdom is his best friend; folly, his worst enemy.

40. A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.

41. A penny will hide the biggest star in the universe if you hold it close enough to your eye.

42. A person is grown up not when they can take care of themself, but when they can take care of others.

43. A person is just about as big as the things that make them angry.

44. A person without knowledge of his history is like a tree without roots.

45. A person's character and their garden both reflect the amount of weeding that was done during the growing season.

46. A philosopher is one who desires to discern the truth.

47. A prig is a fellow who is always making you a present of his opinions.

48. A proverb is a short sentence based on long experience. (Miguel deCervantes)

49. A prudent question is one-half of wisdom.

50. A reasonable man adapts himself to suit his environment. An unreasonable man persists in attempting to adapt his environment to suit himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man.

51. A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.

52. A seminar on time travel will be held in two weeks ago.

53. A short saying oft contains much wisdom.

54. A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is statistics.

55. A single reason why you can do something is worth 100 reasons why you can't.

56. A sinning man will stop praying. A praying man will stop sinning.

57. A smile is a fortune, but you can't sell it, you can't buy it and you can't steal it, but it isn't good to anyone until it is given away.

58. A smile on your face can be felt on another's heart. (Rhonda Marlow)

59. A statesman shears the sheep. A politician skins them.

60. A synonym is a word you use in place of one you can't spell.

61. A ton of regret never made an ounce of difference.

62. A true friend walks in when the world walks out.

63. A vibration is a motion that can't make up its mind which way it wants to go.

64. A wise man, recognising that the world is but an illusion, does not act as if it is real, so he escapes the suffering.

65. A witty saying proves nothing.

66. A word gets its meaning by the person who speaks it.

67. Ability can take you to the top, but it takes character to keep you there.

68. Acceptance of what has happened is the first step to overcoming the consequences of any misfortune. (William James)

69. Adam and Eve had an ideal marriage. He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn't have to hear about the way his mother cooked. (Kimberley Broyles)

70. Affection is responsible for nine-tenths of whatever solid and durable happiness there is in our lives. (C.S. Lewis)

71. After all is said and done, more is said than done.

72. After the government takes enough to balance the budget, the taxpayer has the job of budgeting the balance.

73. Alimony is having an ex-husband you can bank on.

74. Alimony: funds which allow a woman who lived unhappily married to live happily unmarried.

75. All humans are hypocrites; the biggest hypocrite of all is the one who claims to detest hypocrisy.

76. All I ask for is the opportunity to prove that money doesn't buy happiness.

77. All lies are told with a straight face. It is truth that's said with a dismissive giggle.

78. All philosophy lies in two words, sustain and abstain.

79. All sunshine makes a desert.

80. All that is necessary for the forces of evil to win in this world is for enough good men to do nothing. (Edmund Burke)

81. All that we are is the result of what we have thought.

82. Always and never are two words to always remember never to use.

83. Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

84. America is a country which produces citizens who will cross the ocean to fight for democracy but won't cross the street to vote.

85. America is a land where citizens vote for Democrats but hope to live like Republicans.

86. America is the only country in the world where the poor have a parking problem.

87. An adolescent is a person who acts like a baby when they aren't treated like an adult.

88. An age is called Dark not because the light fails to shine, but because people refuse to see it.

89. An educational system isn't worth a great deal if it teaches young people how to make a living but doesn't teach them how to make a life.

90. An honest politician is one who, when he is bought, will stay bought.

91. Any fool can tell the truth, but it requires a man of some sense to know how to lie well.

92. Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius -- and a lot of courage -- to move in the opposite direction.

93. Any man who afflicts the human race with ideas must be prepared to see them misunderstood.

94. Any man who laughs at women's clothes has never paid the bill for them.

95. Anybody who thinks talk is cheap never argued with a traffic cop.

96. Anyone can hold the helm when the sea is calm.

97. Anyone can make a mountain out of a molehill by throwing on more dirt.

98. Anyone who has time to look for a 4- leaf clover needs to find one.

99. Anything that can be changed will be changed until there is no time left to change anything.

100. As a man begins to live more seriously within; he begins to live more simply without.

101. As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain, and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality.

102. As I said before, I never repeat myself.

103. As long as you put in the work, you can own the dream. When the work stops, the dream disappears. (Jim Dietz)

104. Ask yourself if what you are doing today is getting you closer to where you want to be tomorrow.

105. Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

106. Attain complete vacuity, Maintain steadfast quietude. All things come into being, and I see thereby their return. All things flourish, But each one returns to its root. This return to its root means tranquillity. It is called returning to its destiny. To return to destiny is called The Eternal. To know The Eternal is called enlightenment. Not to know The Eternal is to act blindly which results in disaster.

107. Be polite to all, but intimate with few.

108. Be your own hero, it's cheaper than a movie ticket.

109. Beat your own and others will fear you.

110. Beauty is variable, ugliness is constant.

111. Before God we are all equally wise -- and equally foolish.

112. Better to light a candle than to curse the darkness.

113. Beware of altruism. It is based on self-deception, the root of all evil.

114. Beware the man of one book.

115. Bigot: One who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain.

116. Bodily exercise, when compulsory, does no harm to the body; but knowledge which is acquired under compulsion obtains no hold on the mind.

117. Boring people are a reflection of boring people.

118. Bravery and stupidity go hand in hand.

119. Buying a lie is one thing, giving it away for free is quite another.

120. By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection which is noblest; second, by imitation, which is the easiest; and third, by experience, which is the bitterest.