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242. If the road you travel, has no obstacles, It leads nowhere.

243. If things get any worse, I'll have to ask you to stop helping me.

244. If thou would'st have that stream of hard-earn'd knowledge, of Wisdom heaven-born, remain sweet running waters, thou should'st not leave it to become a stagnant pond.

245. If time heals all wounds, how come the belly button stays the same?

246. If you always do what you always did, you'll always get what you always got.

247. If you are never scared, embarrassed or hurt, it means you never take chances.

248. If you begin to understand what you are without trying to change it, then what you are undergoes a transformation.

249. If you can keep your head while all about are losing theirs and blaming it on you - perhaps you have underestimated the seriousness of the situation.

250. If you can't learn to do it well, learn to enjoy doing it badly.

251. o>>>>~~~<p>********<p>If you can't sleep, don't count sheep. Talk to the Shepherd.

252. If you decide not to choose then you've already made the wrong choice!

253. If you do what you've always done, you'll be what you've always been.

254. If you don't have time to do it right, you must have time to do it over.

255. If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything.

256. If you explain so clearly that nobody can misunderstand, somebody will.

257. If you give 100%, God will make up the difference!

258. If you go out looking for friends, you're going to find they are very scarce. If you go out to be a friend, you'll find them everywhere. (Zig Zigler)

259. If you have much, give of your wealth; if you have little, give of your heart.

260. If you have the desire, you are halfway there. (E. Crique)

261. If you haven't much education you must use your brain.

262. If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again; it was probably worth it.

263. If you love something set it free....If it comes back to you it is yours, if it doesn't than it was never meant to be.

264. If you love something, turn it loose. If it doesn't come back, kill it!

265. If you make people think they're thinking, they'll love you -- but if you really make them think they'll hate you.

266. If you only have the Word, you will dry up. If you only have the Spirit, you will blow up. But if you have the Word and the Spirit, you will go up and grow up.

267. If you set the example, you won't need to set many rules.

268. If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.

269. If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.

270. If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur.

271. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

272. If you think you're getting too much government these days, just be happy that you're not getting all you are paying for.

273. If you treat a man as he is, he will remain as he is; if you treat him as he ought to be and could be, he will become as he ought to be and could be.

274. If you treat every situation like a life or death matter, be prepared to die a lot of times.

275. If you want a thing well done, do it yourself.

276. If you want to be well liked never lie about yourself, and be careful when telling the truth about others.

277. If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

278. If you were arrested for kindness, would there be enough evidence to convict you?

279. If you wish your merit to be known, acknowledge that of other people.

280. If your vision doesn't scare you, then both your vision and your God are too small.

281. Ignorance is the mother of devotion.

282. Ignorance is the soil in which belief in miracles grows.

283. Imagination is more important than knowledge.

284. In a mad world, only the mad are sane.

285. In a philosophical dispute, he gains most who is defeated, since he learns most.

286. In seeking wisdom thou art wise; in imagining that thou hast attained it - thou art a fool.

287. In seeking Wisdom, the first stage is silence, the second listening, the third remembrance, the fourth practicing, the fifth teaching.

288. In the country of the blind, the one-eyed man is king... and the one-eyed man with the high heels and the feather boa is queen.

289. In this world, there is one terrible thing, and that is that everyone has his reasons.

290. In youth and beauty wisdom is but rare!

291. Inspect the neighbourhood of thy life; every shelf, every nook of thine abode.

292. Integrity without knowledge is weak and useless, and knowledge without integrity is dangerous and dreadful.

293. Intolerance of ambiguity is the mark of an authoritarian personality.

294. Isn't it interesting that the same people who laugh at science fiction listen to weather forecasts and economists?

295. It costs to be stupid. The stupider you are, the more it costs.

296. It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity.

297. It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.

298. It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.

299. It is better to know some of the questions than all of the answers.

300. It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.

301. It is easier to be wise for others than for ourselves.

302. It is easy for men to write and talk like philosophers, but to act with wisdom, there is the rub!

303. It is the province of knowledge to speak, and it is the privilege of wisdom to listen.

304. It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.

305. It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.

306. It's better to be quotable than to be honest.

307. It's better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that you're stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.

308. Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.

309. Kindness is the beginning of cruelty.

310. Knowledge dwells in heads replete with thoughts of other men; wisdom in minds attentive to their own.

311. Knowledge is like money: the more he gets, the more he craves.

312. Knowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify.

313. Laughter is like changing a baby's diaper. It doesn't permanently solve any problems, but it makes thing more acceptable for awhile.

314. Lawyer (n): Larval stage of Politician.

315. Learn from the past Live for today Look for tomorrow Take a nap this afternoon

316. Learn to listen, opportunity often knocks softly.

317. Learning is not compulsory... neither is survival.

318. Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.

319. Let nature take its course and hope it passes.

320. Let us so live that when we die even the undertaker will be sorry.

321. Lets face it, the world would be a boring place without oppressive governments. If we were free to do or say whatever we wanted, it wouldn't be exciting to do or say anything.

322. Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.

323. Life happens too fast for you ever to think about it. If you could just persuade people of this, but they insist on amassing information.

324. Life is a comedy for those who think and a tragedy for those who feel.

325. Life is a grindstone. Whether it grinds you down or polishes you up, depends upon what you're made of.

326. Life is a tragedy for those who feel, and a comedy for those who think, and a docudrama with ugly actors for those who film docudramas.

327. Life is an echo. What you send out - you get back. What you give - you get.

328. Life is like a box of chocolates; you never know when you'll find a nut.

329. Life is like a game of tennis; the player who serves well seldom loses.

330. Life is like a ladder, the higher you climb, the more expansive your view is.

331. Life is like a mirror, if you frown at it, it frowns back; if you smile, it returns the greeting.

332. Life is like a movie.. How good you do depends on your critics.

333. Life is like an onion. You peel it off layer by layer and sometimes you cry.

334. Life is the first gift, love is the second, and understanding the third.

335. Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.

336. Life itself cannot give you joy unless you really will it. Life just gives you time and space. It's up to you to fill it.

337. Life's tragedy is that we get old to soon and wise too late.

338. Live to learn, learn to live, then teach others.

339. Live to learn... forget... and learn again.

340. Look to the past for guidance into the future.

341. Looking back, may I be filled with gratitude; looking forward, may I be filled with hope; looking upward, may I be aware of strength; looking inward, may I find peace.......

342. Lord, be merciful, shut me up when my life speaks so much louder than my words.

343. Lord, may others treat me tomorrow as I have treated them today.

344. Love is blind. Marriage is the eye-opener.

345. Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.

346. Love many, trust few, and always paddle your own canoe.

347. Love sees no colour.

348. Love thy neighbour as thyself, but choose your neighbourhood.

349. Love your enemies: they'll go crazy trying to figure out what you're up to.

350. Love, like paint, can make things beautiful when you spread it, but it simply dries up when you don't use it.

351. Luck is a loser's excuse for a winner's position!

352. Major writing is to say what has been seen, so that it need never be said again.

353. Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.

354. Make thy study of the word of The Eternal a fixed practice; say little and do much; and receive all men with a cheerful countenance.

355. Man blames fate for other accidents, but feels personally responsible when he makes a hole-in-one!

356. Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has courage to lose sight of the shore.

357. Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.

358. Man is a peculiar creature. He spends a fortune making his home insect-proof and air-conditioned, and then eats in the yard.

359. Man is the only animal that blushes -- or needs to.

360. Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat until he eats them.