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 2. A friend is someone who knows all about you and still likes you.

 3. A friend might well be reckoned the masterpiece of nature.

 4. A husband is what's left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.

 5. A man is in love when something in his head, something in his and chest and Something in his pants react to a certain woman.

 6. A man needs a mistress, just to break the monogamy.

 7. Absence extinguishes small passions and increases great ones, as the wind blows out a candle, and fans a bonfire.

 8. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

 9. All mankind loves a lover.

10. All the passions make us commit faults; love makes us commit the most ridiculous ones.

11. Before you find your handsome prince, you have to kiss a lot of frogs.

12. Burning desire is the eternal flame.

13. Contention is better than loneliness.

14. Flirting is the gentle art of making a man feel pleased with himself.

15. Happiness: An agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another.

16. Hatred is toxic waste in the river of life.

17. Hatred: A sentiment appropriate to the occasion of another's superiority.

18. Helpmate: A wife, or bitter half.

19. Her kisses left something to be desired -- the rest of her.

20. I'd like to meet the man who invented sex and see what he's working on now.

21. If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?

22. If we deny love that is given to us, if we refuse to give love because we fear pain or loss, then our lives will be empty, our loss greater.

23. If you are afraid of loneliness, don't marry.

24. If you find an error, if you know the origin of one of the unattributed quotes, or if you have an aphorism of your own, please make a contribution.

25. If you love something, turn it loose. If it doesn't come back, kill it!

26. I'm a great housekeeper. I get divorced. I keep the house.

27. In the end, we will conserve only what we love. We will love only what we understand. We will understand only what we are taught.

28. Incompatibility: In matrimony a similarity of tastes, particularly the taste for domination.

29. Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

30. It is best to love wisely, no doubt; but to love foolishly is better than not to be able to love at all.

31. It is impossible to love and be wise.

32. Kindness is loving people more than they deserve.

33. Love and a cough cannot be hidden.

34. Love doesn't make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride wortwhile.

35. Love is a given, hatred is aquired.

36. Love is an ideal thing, marriage a real thing; a confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished.

37. Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties.

38. Love is like the measles, all the worse when it comes late.

39. Love is seeing without eyes, hearing without ears; hatred is nothing.

40. Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

41. Love will make you forget time, and time will make you forget love.

42. Love: A temporary insanity cureable either by marriage or by removal of the influences under which he incurred the disorder. It is sometimes fatal, but more frequently to the physician than the patient.

43. Love: The delusion that one woman differs from another.

44. Many a wife thinks her husband is the world's greatest lover. But she can never catch him at it.

45. Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out.

46. Marriage is not a word -- it is a sentence.

47. Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets.

48. Marriage is the death of hope.

49. Marriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly.

50. Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

51. Math is like love -- a simple idea but it can get complicated.

52. Money is good, love is wealth.

53. My advice to you is to get married. If you find a good wife, you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.

54. No distance of place or lapse of time can lessen the friendship of those who are thoroughly persuaded of each other's worth.

55. No one can drive us crazy unless we give them the keys.

56. Passionate hatred can give meaning and purpose to an empty life.

57. People who are sensible about love are incapable of it.

58. Polygamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is just the same.

59. Reject hatred without hating.

60. Remember, the greatest gift is not found in a store nor under a tree, but in the hearts of true friends.

61. Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got.

62. She's the kind of woman you could fall madly in bed with.

63. Talk not of wasted affection; affection never was wasted.

64. The gods gave man fire and he invented fire engines. They gave him love and he invented marriage.

65. The hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread.

66. The more we are filled with thoughts of lust the less we find true romantic love.

67. The opposite of love is not hate, the opposite of love is ignorance.

68. The surest sign that a man is in love is when he divorces his wife.

69. There are two sides to every divorce: yours and the shithead's.

70. There is no difference between a wise man and a fool when they fall in love.

71. There is only one happiness in life: to love and be loved.

72. 'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

73. True friendship is like sound health -- the value of it is seldom known until it is lost.

74. True friendship is seen through the heart, not through the eyes.

75. Wedding is destiny, and hanging likewise.

76. What the public wants is the image of passion, not passion itself.

77. What the world really needs is more love and less paperwork.

78. When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

79. When falling in love, some lose their head, others lose their heart.

80. When two people are under the influence of the most violent, most insane, most delusive, and most transient of passions, they are required to swear that they will remain in that excited, abnormal, and exhausting condition continuously until death do them part.

81. Women make love for love, men make love for lust.