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 2. A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never her age.

 3. A diplomat is a man who can convince his wife she'd look stout in a fur coat.

 4. A man needs a mistress, just to break the monogamy.

 5. A woman may very well form a friendship with a man, but for this to endure, it must be assisted by a little physical antipathy.

 6. A woman never forgets the men she could have had; a man, the women he couldn't.

 7. Anatomy is destiny.

 8. Bachelors know more about women than married men do. If they didn't, they'd be married too.

 9. Beauty: That power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.

10. Flirting is the gentle art of making a man feel pleased with himself.

11. Give a man free hands and you'll know where to find them.

12. I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.

13. If the effort that went in research on the female bosom had gone into our space program, we would now be running hot dog stands on the moon.

14. If there is anything disagreeable going on, men are always sure to get out of it.

15. If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.

16. If you find an error, if you know the origin of one of the unattributed quotes, or if you have an aphorism of your own, please make a contribution.

17. If you want a high performance woman, I can go from zero to bitch in less than 2.1 seconds.

18. I've had one child. My husband wants to have another. I'd like to watch him have another.

19. Large increases in cost with questionable increases in performance can be tolerated only in race horses and women.

20. Men mistake friendship, but not sex, for love; women mistake sex, but not friendship, for love.

21. Men who cherish for women the highest respect are seldom popular with them.

22. Nature has given women so much power that the law has very wisely given them little.

23. Sex is what women have and men want.

24. The great question -- which I have not been able to answer -- is, "What does a woman want?"

25. The more I know men, the more I love my dog.

26. There are really not many jobs that actually require a penis or a vagina, and all other occupations should be open to everyone.

27. There's a difference between beauty and charm. A beautiful woman is one I notice. A charming woman is one who notices me.

28. Were there no women, men might live like gods.

29. When a female has tears in her eyes the one who cannot see is the male.

30. When a man's wife learns to understand him, she usually stops listening to him.

31. When God created two sexes, he may have been overdoing it.

32. While farmers generally allow one rooster for ten hens, ten men are scarcely sufficient to service one woman.

33. Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.

34. Women like silent men. They think they're listening.

35. Women make love for love, men make love for lust.

36. Women who want to be equal to men lack imagination.

37. You come out of a woman and you spend the rest of your life trying to get back inside.