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129. Life's a bitch--but some of the puppies are cute.

130. Live as you wish your kids would

131. Lost time is never found again

132. Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.

133. Make friends before you need them

134. Me? Tense? Stressed? I'm a frayed knot!

135. Meetings. The practical alternative to work.

136. Men don't roar, women roar. Then they throw heavy objects.

137. Minds are like parachutes - they only function when open

138. Minds are like Parachutes. They work best when open.

139. Money is a good servant but it is a cruel master

140. Money talks and often just says, "Good Bye"

141. My heart's in the right place. I know, 'cuz I hid it there.

142. My Karma ran over my Dogma.

143. My Reality Check bounced.

144. My wife says I never listen to her. At least I think that's what she said.

145. Nature and Books belong to the eyes that see them.

146. Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid doing altogether.

147. New studies show that 100% of all smokers die.

148. No electrons were harmed in the creation of this message.

149. No man knows less than the man who knows it all

150. Nobody raises his own reputation by lowering others

151. Normal is in the eye of the beholder.

152. Normal is just a cycle on the washing machine!

153. Not everything that can be counted counts; and not everything that counts can be counted." --A. Einstein

154. Not one shred of evidence exists in favour of the idea that life is serious.

155. Nothing ruins the truth like stretching it

156. Now Accepting Compliments

157. Now that I have it all, can I give some of it back?

158. Of all the things you wear, your expression is most important

159. Old hippies never die, They just go undercover.

160. On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.

161. One day at a time is all we get, make the most of it!

162. One good turn gets most of the blanket.

163. One thing you can give and still keep is your word

164. One thing you can't recycle is wasted time

165. One who lacks courage to start has already finished

166. Opportunities are often lost because they are not recognised.

167. Our favourite attitude should be gratitude

168. Out of Body. Back in Five Minutes.

169. Past failures are guideposts to success

170. Patience carries a lot of wait

171. Patience is counting down without blasting off

172. People don't fail, they give up

173. Please, Lord, let me prove that winning the lottery won't spoil me.

174. Politics have no relation to morals.

175. Power interrupts. Uninterruptable power interrupts absolutely.

176. Procrastination is the thief of time

177. Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? A: How many can you afford?

178. Read the Bible - it will scare the hell out of you

179. Reality is for people who can't handle science fiction.

180. Seek joy in what you give not in what you get

181. Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I will see a man who can't get his pants off!

182. Smile, it takes only 13 muscles; A frown takes 64

183. So many books...So little time.

184. Some folks won't look up until they are flat on their backs

185. Some mornings it just doesn't seem worth it to gnaw through the leather straps."

186. Some people develop eyestrain looking for trouble

187. Someone who thinks logically is a nice contrast to the real world.

188. Speak softly, and wear a loud shirt.

189. Stop Plate Tectonics

190. Stress management in progress. Do not vex.

191. Success comes in cans... Failure comes in cant's

192. Success is...more attitude than aptitude

193. Swallowing your pride seldom leads to indigestion

194. Sweat is nature's way of showing you your muscles are crying.

195. Tact is ability to see others as they wish to be seen

196. Tell me what you believe and I'll tell you where you're going wrong.

197. The best Labor saving device is doing it tomorrow

198. The best vitamin for making friends, B-1

199. The facts, though interesting, are irrelevant.

200. The future is purchased by the present

201. The greatest of all faults is to imagine you have none

202. The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts

203. The more things change, the more they stay the same.

204. The more you run over a dead cat, the flatter it gets.

205. The only evidence against evolution are its opponents.

206. The pursuit of happiness is the chase of a life time

207. The Road to Enlightenment is Long and Difficult. Bring Snacks and a Book to read.

208. The smallest good deed is better than the grandest intention

209. The Ten Commandments are not multiple choice

210. The trouble with being in the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.

211. The Truth is Out There. So what are you doing Here!

212. There are three types of people in this world: Those who can count, and those who can't.

213. There are two rules for ultimate success in life. 1. Never tell everything you know.

214. There are two ways to be rich --, make more or need less.

215. There is no right way to do a wrong thing

216. There's no speed limit on the Information Super highway.

217. Things always look better when you can't see them.

218. THINK -- it gives you something to do while the computer is down.

219. This novel is not to be tossed lightly aside, but to be hurled with great force.

220. Those that can, do. Those who can't, don't.

221. Time is Nature's way of making sure that everything doesn't happen at once.

222. Time is what keeps everything from happening to us all at once.

223. To err is human, to moo, bovine.

224. Too err is human. To really screw things up you need a computer.

225. Too many of us speak twice before we think

226. Trespassers will be violated.

227. Triumph is just "umph" added to "try"

228. Two wrongs don't make a right, but three rights make a left.

229. Velveeta cheese has so many preservatives that it doesn't have a shelf life...it has a half-life!

230. We are not human doings, rather, we are human beings.

231. We has met the enemy, and it is us.

232. We have strange and wonderful relationship. You're strange and I'm wonderful.

233. We lie loudest when we lie to ourselves

234. Well done! is better than Well said!

235. What fucking hell is this?!

236. What the world really needs is more love and less paperwork.

237. Whatever you do may seem insignificant to you, but it is most important that you do it.

238. When all else fails manipulate the data.

239. When looking for faults use a mirror, not a telescope

240. When our outgo exceeds our income, our upkeep becomes our downfall.

241. When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

242. Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways?

243. Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?

244. Work is the curse of the drinking classes.

245. You are here: X

246. You can lead a whore to culture but you can't make her think.

247. You can't direct the wind but you can adjust your sails

248. You can't have everything, where would you put it?

249. You can't write a chord ugly enough to say what you want sometimes, so you have to rely on a giraffe filled with whipped cream.

250. You know what they say....it's either feast or phantoms.

251. You must do the thing you think you cannot do.

252. You'll see it when you believe it.

253. Young at Heart. Slightly Older in Other Places.

254. Your imagination is your preview of life's coming attractions.

255. You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.